The Worst Thing about Teaching

At varying times during my almost ten years of teaching, I would have said one of these was the worst thing about teaching:

• dealing with unreasonable parents
• not being able to have a real lunch break and get out of the building
• having to do twice the amount of work to be gone instead of just being gone like normal people
• PAPERWORK
•  knowing what a kid needs but not being able to give it to him because of time, space, lack of programs, etc.

But the worst thing about teaching is not on this list. The worst thing about teaching is saying goodbye.

I said goodbye to #1 at the end of my second year. She had taken me under her wing when I started, which was in the middle of the school year. I had no idea what I was doing, and she kindly and gently guided me through the grade book system, the attendance program, the SIT process, how to be a contributing member of a team, etc. She was the one who ran our team. When she left, I was sad and apprehensive about her replacement.

I said goodbye to #2 three years later. She was kind, quiet, sweet, organized (almost to a fault) and dependable. She was the one in team meeting with impeccable notes. worked hard, loved kids, and was a very good teacher. It was hard to see her go, and again, I was apprehensive about the new teacher coming in.

#3, which happened two yeas after that, was rough. He was my team content teacher - he taught Language Arts, I taught reading. We collaborated many times throughout the year. He was the one who kept the mood light on our team, constantly coming up with double meanings to words and phrases (example: "I'll PLC you later," accompanied by a cheesy grin and a finger point). I knew when he left it was going to be hard. Indeed, on his last day I remember delaying coming back to the pod and hoping he had left already. He hadn't. He had waited for me to say goodbye. I remember crying when he hugged me, crying when I watched him walk out the front door, and crying all the way home.

When I really think about #4, it's hard not to tear up, even though it's been more than two years since she left. At first I didn't think we'd ever be friends, but by the time she was ready to move on, I counted (and still count) her among my very best of friends. She was good with kids, good with content, and great as a team player. She had good ideas, a good memory, and a great knack for keeping us on track and productive in team. I often found myself in her room during plan time and we ate lunch together almost every day. When I realized that her leaving was a possibility, I remember feeling sick at my stomach. Indeed, our math teacher told me, "I feel like I should get her a congratulations card and you a sympathy card." That is exactly how it felt. I knew she was doing the right thing for her, and that probably should have made things easier, but it didn't. I remember walking down to her room on the last day and hugging her. We both cried and then took this walk of sorrow down the hall and out the door. I sobbed the whole way home and for the several days. And I still miss her CONSTANTLY.

I'm not sure how to talk about #5. #5 is a rarity among teachers. A 32 year long teaching career. Been in the district forever and been in the building since it was built. Seen generations of kids come through (including mine). Knows the name of every staff member, including the night custodians, past and present. Knows every person in town and their grandma and their dog's name. As a team member, he was our encourager. He wrote little notes and put them in our boxes. He would send emails constantly telling us what great jobs we were doing. One time he felt bad about a comment he made so he brought me donuts the next morning. He brought our kids gifts at Christmas and sometimes would just swing by the house to check on us. His enthusiasm was constant. He noticed things about kids that we would have never picked up on. He kept EVERYTHING, so we could always ask for the schedule we used last year, or the order we used for the PR party, or whatever. He was always telling kids that this was going to be their best year ever. He was always telling kids that today was going to be their best DAY ever. And kids believed him. He made kids feel like they were important, like they were good, like they could do anything. As has become my habit, I put off my goodbye until I was ready to leave. I started bawling before I even left my classroom. By the time I made it to his, I was in full-fledged break-down-sobbing mode. He hugged me, told me what a great teacher and mom I was, and told me that next year is going to be the best year ever.

Isn't there some sort of principle that says things get easier each time you do it? It definitely doesn't apply to losing co-workers. And co-workers isn't the right phrase. It's like losing a hand, or an arm, better yet. The older I get and the more people with whom I work, the more I find that having people you love and trust working with you in your efforts to do what is best for kids is a rarity. A luxury. The best place to be. Every person on this list has gone on to do greater things in their lives. Things that were right for them, their families, and their careers. I am happy for them and their successes, as they have all been and will continue to be wonderful in their new jobs.

But this is most definitely the worst thing about teaching.