I can't really put into words how this has changed our lives, so I'm not going to try. What I'm going to do instead is describe the extraordinary circumstances God used to get us here.
Circumstance #1: BURNOUT
I was overwhelmed. A typical day worked like this - up at 5 AM, chores, shower, dress, get kids up, dressed, fed, and out the door. Drop off at school (or sometimes Grandma's depending on Sister's location for the day), get to work, scramble to get stuff ready, teach ALL day, try to get the kids picked up by 3:45 (though it was usually 4), run any errands required, get home, try to get dinner ready, hurry up and eat it, and get wherever we were supposed to get (if it was a Wednesday or Thursday) and hope hope hope I wouldn't get a text that said, "Hey, I have to work late. Probably be home after the kids are in bed." He worked CONSTANTLY and also had to travel out of state. In fact, last year, he was gone the week before I had to go back to work and the week school started. And this was just me, people. Imagine how he was feeling - never home, always driving or working, never seeing the kids, leaving home before the sun comes up and coming home well after.
As you might imagine, this was leading to extreme frustration on both our parts - mine because I was shouldering almost all the home and child-raising responsibilities and working full-time, and his because he was always working or driving. We discussed moving there. We discussed moving halfway and both commuting. We discussed me getting another job that would allow me to be home more. We discussed everything we could possibly think of, and every time, the best solution was to get a job where we already live. But that was easier said than done.
Circumstance #2: COUNSEL
In January, he was offered a position on the East Coast with his job. That might have solved our problem - it meant we would just all move to the East Coast and we could buy a place close to his work. By the time the offer was finalized, it was relatively easy to turn down. It wasn't going to be enough for me to quit my job, which is really the only reason we would have considered it. Later that month, we asked a trusted friend to listen to our hearts about the situation and offer counsel. He did - he said, "You can't keep doing what you are doing. It's too much and it's not good for your kids. Let's pray for a job here."
Yes. That is a good idea.
Circumstance #3: BILL SELF'S HOUSE
In February, Husband was invited by our friends Zak and Jo to a charity event in Lawrence at Bill Self's house. Bill Self's house. This is REAL LIFE, people. BILL SELF'S HOUSE. (I was invited, too, but naturally, it was one of the FOUR EVENINGS A YEAR I HAVE TO WORK. So while he got to sit on Bill's couch and chat with Cindy, I was at parent teacher conferences trying to pretend I was happy about it.) As he was mingling and sending me pictures of Bill's pool table, Zak introduced him to a man who worked for an engineering firm in Lawrence. Husband knew the same company had an office where we live. 7-9 minutes away, to be exact. As they chatted, Husband learned that he actually ran the office in Lawrence, and when he learned Husband was driving over an hour to and from work every day, he said, "Well if you ever want to nix that drive, let me know. They are looking to hire an MEP (mechanical/electrical/pluming, PS). Send me your resume if you're interested."
People, MAGIC THINGS happen at Bill Self's house.
Circumstance #4: INTERVIEWS (5!)
We sent said resume. Obviously. Within a week, Husband had received an email asking if he'd like to meet a few of them for drinks - not an interview, but a "talk." He went and it went very very well. Our hopes were high.
Over the course of the next THREE MONTHS, Husband went in four more times. I'm not sure why they needed four (five, if you count the "talk") meetings with him, but FINALLY they offered him a job. Obviously, we were ecstatic. It was a bit of a pay cut, but not when you considered the money we'd save in gas, not to mention the priceless driving time! Husband called and accepted.
Yes,
yes,
yes.
Circumstance #5: Wait...what?
The next day was a Thursday. My people-pleaser husband was dreading telling his bosses (whom he loved, and who have always treated him well) that he was quitting. I think he felt physically ill. When he did it, both of them immediately responded with "We want to keep you. Let us get our ducks in a row and we will have a counter offer." Okay, let me be frank here. Husband is very, very good at his job. He is a perfectionist in the extreme, and in only two years, he had worked himself into project management positions and become the software expert on his team. He also very, very good with people, and if you know many engineers, you know this is not necessarily the case with all of them. Throughout his two years with this company, Husband has frequently been hailed and praised by his superiors for his "harmonious" disposition and his "leadership" skills and potential. So it wasn't exactly a shocker when they said they wanted to keep him. He basically told them this wasn't a career move - it wasn't about money. It was about being home more. And there was no possible way they could give that to him. So thank you for the compliment, and I have loved working with you, but putting together an offer would be a waste of your time.
They relented. We were looking forward to only two more weeks of driving! The night before his last few days, he said to me, "I'm really looking forward to these last few days. Low stress, tying up loose ends, and just being done."
I got an email at work the next day that said, "Can you talk? We have a problem..." Um...what? I called as soon as possible. Husband had just spent half an hour with the PRESIDENT (this is a a 500+ employee company, people). He said he had just learned that Husband was leaving. He offered him a 15% increase and the ability to work from home.
Wait...what?
"I am furious with your team for not offering this to you in the first place. We want to keep you. I realize you have already accepted this other offer, but you are the kind of guy we want to pass the company off to someday. We will do whatever we need to to keep you, which includes making an exception to that part of the handbook that says, 'Employees who live within 200 miles are expected to drive to work every day.' So, what do you say?"
I can honestly tell you Husband was heartbroken. He loved his job. He loved the people, he loved the company, he could see a future there for sure. Had he known this was an option (and why would he? NO ONE works from home. Not even the VPs!), we very likely would have taken it. I was proud of him for saying as much to the president, who nodded and said, "Yes, we dropped the ball. This was our fault and I'm sorry." In true Husband fashion, he thanked him for his time and faith in him, told him he'd already made a commitment, and shook his hand. The president said he understood and admired Husband for his decision, but should he ever change his mind, the offer would stand.
Two Months In:
Two months in, things are going well. Husband is home nearly every day by 4:40, rarely works overtime, and is learning new things. This company is much smaller, so his range of responsibilities has broadened considerably, but he is enjoying the challenge. We had lunch with Dad once a week this summer, and he will be doing drop offs for this school year (HALLELUJAH!). And just last week we went over to the house of one of the guys Husband works most closely with for swimming and a cookout. It was great fun! God has surely worked things together for good.
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