When Charlie was born, a friend of mine had family members write him letters and then arranged them in a book. Because Lucy's birth was such a whirlwind, we did not do this for Lucy, so for her 1st birthday, I asked for them for her 1st birthday (which is in less than two weeks!). My brother's is amazing. So much heart and depth - I had to share.
When
Emma, your cousin, was born, I suddenly had a little ball of life I was
charged with protecting. I was instantly given the responsibility to
assist her in growing up in this world. The main issue I was immediately
faced with was, ‘How could I teach her that hard work separates winning
from losing when I’ve leisurely procrastinated my way through life?’
That’s not to say that I’ve ‘won’ at life, but hypocrites don’t make
good superheroes, and that’s what parents are supposed to
be…superheroes.
I’ve
thought long and hard about all the things I need to teach her. This is
nowhere near the whole list, but I do feel these things are important. I
hope that you can take something from what I hope to teach her.
Happiness This
is probably the most cliché virtue on the list, but it’s extremely
important. ‘Success’ is really more of a journey than an ‘x’ on a map.
You can’t really be taught happiness, per se, but you can learn
perspective and look at your day to day life as unique. Emma will not
have a perfect life, and she won’t get everything she wants all the
time. However, it is important she realizes that the things she is
accustomed to are not everyone’s reality. Your Pepa and
Gigi will tell you they wished I had learned this long ago. I was
constantly reaching for a happiness that would never be achieved unless
my perspective and understanding of what defined happiness was altered.
This leads me to the next thing I need Emma to understand.
The value of a dollar Pepa may
disagree, but we weren’t poor growing up. We had everything we needed
when we needed it. Again, my perspective at the time was different. I
was more worried about not getting the things I wanted instead of
getting the things I needed. I’ll be honest with you, I did get a lot
of the things I wanted, but it was never enough (this goes back to
‘perspective’- please understand this before I
did). So how did I learn the value of a dollar? I think I learned it a
long time ago, but I never really rationally understood it until about
halfway through college. I learned it by paying my own cell phone bill,
doing chores and working extra for the extra things I wanted. The
rational, real-life application didn’t really hit me until I also had to
pay for the things I ‘needed’. This is why I worked 70-80 hours a week
through most of college. I still felt I needed to have enough money to
buy everything I needed plus everything I wanted. Don’t make the same
mistake I did. Learn the difference between want and need.
Looking back, the best times growing up where when we watched Home
Improvement together as a family or when your mom and I recorded a fake
Olympic figure skating commentary. Things like that, things that have
nothing to do with money.
Know your ‘why’ At work, I analyze business propositions and write about them. Any
time anyone comes up to me with any kind of idea, I always ask them
"Why?" It seems simple, but it's actually an intricate question. Nine
times out of ten, if someone's why is to make money, they'll fail at
what they are trying to do. Here's why I believe this: the "successful" deals I look at include people who are self-vindicated. They don't need pats on the back. They don't need compliments. The merit of their work is endorsed
by what they see in the mirror. They drive themselves until they are
satisfied. People who are monetarily motivated often tire of their
occupations and eventually lose focus. But if you are in love with what
you do day in and day out, it's not work. Every day you're adding a
piece of joy to your ethos.Your mother is a great example of this, so is your Pepa. To them, it’s not work. I’m continuously searching for my why. For me, work is a means to an end. So find your passion, and fall in love with your why.
Kindness This is very important. Negative energy sucks the life out of people. You must treat people kindly. No one is any better than you are and you are no better than anyone else. Maybe the biggest thing I learned in grad school was how to deal with stupid people. It always goes back to kindness. We
are all doing the best we can to figure out this thing we call life, so
humble yourself to the fact that you know very little. I'm no
different. I know very little, but I do my best to learn. I've learned things from my father (a highly educated man) and watching a child who can’t even walk yet. Treat
everyone with kindness. It goes a long way. I was taught that people
will rarely remember what you tell them, but they will always remember
how you made them feel.
Men and her worth (loads shotgun) A sore subject for any man with a daughter. I will teach Emma that
she is a young goddess. Help her understand her worth. Let her know
that she must hold every man accountable for who they are and how they
act towards her. There will be a day when I give her away. They
say that a woman spends her life looking for her father in her groom,
so until that day I will try to be the example of a man that she
eventually will seek out. Men tend to be motivated by one thing. Don't
fall victim to a prince charming. If he cares for her, he'll act
accordingly. If not (aims shotgun), well, I guess it just wasn't meant
to be.
God is Love Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Lately, I’ve ridden this verse to the moon and back, and it hasn’t
failed me yet. As you move through life, don’t’ be scared. You will make
mistakes. You will make many mistakes, but God loves you and has a plan
for you. Never forget that. Think about it every day.
I
hope you can read these things and apply them to your life. You have
been blessed with an amazing family. It’s a family that cares more than
any family I’ve ever been around. It’s a family that will stop at
nothing to help you succeed. You’re mother and father are amazing people, as are your grandparents. Your aunt Molly and I love you very much and will always be here if you need us.
Love, Uncle Alex
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