A couple attended a wedding and gave the newlyweds a basket of foods - jolly ranchers, marshmallow creme, balsamic vinegar, etc. with a card that said, "Life is delicious...enjoy." Soon after, they received a text from the newlyweds asking for receipts so they could return the items, as one of the brides was intolerant of gluten. A texting dialogue ensued and quickly bypassed casual to uncomfortable, and escalated into an all out war from there. The givers were told by the newlyweds, "I'm not sure if it's the first wedding you have been to, but for your next wedding, people give envelopes. I lost out on $200 covering you and your dates plate, and got fluffy whip and sour patch kids in return. Just a heads up for the future :)" This was the last smily face that was exchanged. The whole texting battle can be found in the original link.
I didn't read the whole conversation, but I did read the article to my husband. We were actually driving to a wedding as I was reading it out loud from my phone. His reaction was the same as mine. And here is what we would say to them:
Dear Newlywed Brides,
Are you serious? Are you SERIOUS?
Before we address the utterly ridiculous prospect of actually telling someone that they owed you a better gift for your wedding, let's review the purpose of a wedding. I feel somewhat qualified to address this topic, as I have been involved in over 100 weddings (no joke) over the course of my life, including my own. The purpose of a wedding is to celebrate the union of two people who love each other with the ones they love. It is not, as you say "to make money for your future." A wedding should be the most glorious day of your life. It's not about decorations. It's not about pictures. It's not about gifts, and it is certainly not about money. It's a day to celebrate one of the most important decisions you will ever make with people you love and who love you. Gifts are an added bonus.
I don't know how much money the gift-givers have. They may have been loaded. Millionaires. Zillionaires. Let's pretend for the sake of conversation that they were zillionaires. It might be okay for you to think, "Huh, I know they have a ton of money, and it seems like they would have given us something a little nicer." That might be okay. BUT YOU SURE AS HECK DON'T SAY IT! Geesh, people! Now the far more likely situation is that these were average folks with an average income. They may have gotten the idea for a picnic basket full of food from Pinterest, or maybe even their own creativity. It was kind and thoughtful even though the you were unable to use it.
And I have ground-breaking news for you. Are you ready? Everyone gets gifts they don't want or need at their weddings. But, as you seem to be lacking in this thing called tact, let me give you a few pointers by telling you what all the kind, considerate, and polite folks do:
- Regift - this is a great practice. If you know someone who can use this gift, give it to them.
- Donate - your gift was food! Donate it to a local food pantry or drop-in center.
- Garage Sale - sell it at your next garage sale
- AND FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, APPRECIATE THE THOUGHT! Surely you've heard the old adage, "It's the thought that counts" (or maybe not...as you don't appear to have an abundance of manners, and therefore may not have had a very respectable upbringing). Well, it's true. These people obviously cared enough to give you something, and even if it's not something you wanted, it was time, energy, and money spent.
Sincerely,
Someone who would never have the guts to actually say any of this to you, but totally thinks it
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