Kindle Book: The Testing

THE Testing

by Joelle Charbonneau

Length: 344 pages

Format: Kindle Book
Price: $2.99

Author Website: http://joellecharbonneau.com/

Basic Premise: After the 7 Stages of War have rendered the world stagnant and stripped of all its former glory, those who remain are attempting to reestablish a flourishing community and country by appointing leaders, but only those who can pass The Testing.  But no one seems to know much about what actually takes place in the testing, as the only ones who return are those who pass, and they can't remember.

My Take: 9 out of 10 (scale here)
I really really really liked this book.  I liked the writing style, the unpredictable plot, and, most importantly in my opinion, the characterization.  I liked the protagonist.  Like so many dystopian protagonists, she is female.  But unlike so many, she is extremely intelligent, not at all cocky, knows her own heart and mind, and is and in no way involved in a love triangle.  All pluses in my book.  There was the perfect amount of depth to the characters - enough that I felt I knew them, but not so much that I could anticipate their moves.  I got to the end and was immediately desperate to know when the next book would be released.  A 10 second Internet search told me January 7, 2014.  Only 9 more days.  Good.

I told my husband about this book.  Immediately he asked, "Is it as good as The Hunger Games?" Ugh.  I get why he asked, and why my students will probably ask when I tell them about this book.  Probably, the answer is no, though I did read a few reviews that disagreed.  There are many things about this book that make it Hunger Games-ish, but I think it's important to acknowledge that, while The Hunger Games has sort of become the icon of dystopian YAL, it's not the only book, and nor should it be.  There are lots of other books out there that are really really good. And while I don't want to compare the two books, there are many similarities between the circumstances under which I read both:

1. They were recommended at the same book conference by the same woman, though 5 years apart.
2. Both books were appealing to me because I could see the faces of kids in my classes who I knew would like these books.
3. This same woman said both books were very good and would grow quickly in popularity.
4. I finished both in under 48 hours.

I shared my list of books that I wanted to read after attending the conference with some of my high readers on the Thursday before break.  The next day, one of them came to me and said she had purchased this book, was already several chapters in, and was hooked.  I can't wait to talk to her and see what she thought.  I also can't wait to get a hold of some copies for my classroom!

Book: The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight

THE Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight

by Jennifer E. Smith

Length: 236 pages

Format: Paperback
Price: $9.99

Author Website: http://www.jenniferesmith.com/

Basic Premise: On a flight to London for her estranged father's wedding, 17-year-old Hadley finds herself seated next to a handsome stranger whose mysterious research project entangles her unexpectedly.

My Take: 6.5 out of 10 (scale here)
This book was...fine.  I picked it up because the book I really wanted by the same author was too expensive and this one looked good.  For me, it was one of those books where the plot was unique and intriguing, but it just didn't quite live up to its potential.  The whole novel takes place in a 24-hour span, which was cool and it worked, but I wanted more from this book than the author was prepared to give, apparently.  The characters were developed, the writing style was fine, the conflict was plausible, which is where I get my 6.5, but there just wasn't enough in the plot for me to feel really happy with it.  And the ending was very abrupt.

I will give it to some of my girls at school, and I'm sure they will read it and love it.  It has just enough sappy-ness to make them happy :)

Book: March: Book 1

March: Book One

by John Lewis, Andrew Aydin, & Nate Powell

Length: 121 pages

Format: Paperback
Price: $6.99

Basic Premise: This graphic novel follows John Lewis through the early stages of his life and fight for equality as one of the key players in the Civil Rights Movement in Tennessee.

My Take: 9 out of 10 (scale here)

In this post, I mentioned this book as one I was really excited to read.  My principal interest in it is its subject matter - the Civil Rights Movement.  We are looking at new resources for next year and this looked like it might be a good addition to our unit.  It arrived from Amazon today and, I'll be honest - I was bummed when I opened this book and realized it was a graphic novel.  I HATE COMIC BOOKS.  But, as my students love them, they are becoming increasingly more popular, and I had already forked over the money for this one, I settled in to read anyway.  About 35 minutes later, I finished.  It took me awhile to hit a "groove," but once I did, the pictures weren't nearly as distracting as they were in the beginning.  The story is familiar, of course, but the format and viewpoint made this seem like it was new.  It references several things our students study, including the murder of Emmett Till and the Montgomery Bus Boycott, and presented good vocabulary.  I actually really liked it, and I think students would, too.  It's the first installment of what will be a trilogy.

On a teacher note, I wrote to the publishers because I couldn't find a lexile level on this book.  They wrote back saying they don't have that info :( but they do have a free 11-page guide to teaching the novel, which can be downloaded here.

12 Days of Reflection - #12 Let. It. Go.

As a result of my excellent memory, my overly-analytical nature, and my many insecurities, I often find it difficult to let things go.  This is utterly baffling to my husband.  He is constantly telling me to "let it go."  I've come to really really hate this expression.  Over the years, I have tried various forms of "letting it go" only to end up more hurt and frustrated than I was when I started.  I feel like me and "letting it go" are in an ongoing wrestling match.

As you may have guessed, I have some specific issues - some certain things I just can't seem to overcome.  And why?  Why do I feel this need to hold on to anger? To hurts? To fears?  These are the things that destroy, not the things that build up.  These are barriers, roadblocks, poison to relationships, family, the heart.  My heart.

This revelation has taken several years.  (I've mentioned my tendency to be slow on the uptake...this is a prime example.)  It's taken my husband's countless, loving reminders.  It's taken friends like Kristin and Lindsey who handle similar situations with forgiveness, grace, and love, refusing to let things, whether big or small, hold them back.  It's taken sermon after sermon after sermon about this plank in my eye for me to recognize that it is, indeed, a plank in my eye.  A massive barrier between me and what's right.  And I've tried to overcome it - BELIEVE ME, I have tried.  But my tactics have always been poor.  Until about a month ago.

I can't really explain this well without giving details, so I'll just say this: up until then, my approach has been to try doing things.  Do this, do that, do this again, do that again.  And when it wouldn't work, I'd try it again.  And again.  And again.  It was incredibly wearing and SO frustrating because it was yielding absolutely zero in the way of results.  And it was leaving me emotionally exhausted.  And then, one day, there was what we in education like to call "a light bulb" or an "ah-hah!" moment.  It's that moment when the kid gets it.  And I realized my problem.  It was like I was back in high school and hacking away at the same stupid math problem and getting the wrong answer every single stinking time.  And then Mrs. Lane just sits down and says, "try this" and it's like the heavens open and angels descend with the "Hallelujah Chorus" loud on their lips.  I GET IT.

The simple answer? I cannot do.  I must choose.

I have to decide to let it go.  No amount of doing is ever going to make things right.  I could do until the end of time and nothing will change until I choose to
Let.
It.
Go.

I took a moment to choose to let it go.  But I am finding it is not a one-time decision.  Every time anger and resentment rear their ugly heads (which seems to happen a lot over the holidays), I have to choose to let it go.  Because the issue is with my heart - an internal struggle that could never be won externally, like I had been fighting it.

And in realizing this, I can't help but draw this parallel; we can do our entire lives and never be worthy of God's grace.  We could feed every poor person, house every homeless person, give away every dime we possess, learn all there is to know about God and never ever earn God's favor.  Because God's favor cannot be earned.  We are too flawed.  Too damaged.  Too in need of redemption.  We don't have an external issue - we have an internal issue.  But God loved us enough to not let us stay that way.  So he sent his Son to restore us.  To change us.  To right us.

But we must choose.

Christmas really is the most wonderful time of the year - a time to remember, and be forever thankful, that Perfect God loved sinful man enough to give us the Gift of His Son and then allow us the choice to confess and believe, or to go on living life as if
what
we
do
matters.

12 Days of Reflection - #11: 1+1+1 Challenge

For the past month, our church has been participating in the 1+1+1 Challenge - a challenge to do 3 things:

1. 1 hour spent in prayer for our church each week
2. 1 hour spent in service each week
3. 1-time financial gift to be divided 50/50 among local and global impact

 Sounds easy, right?

The easiest one was #2.  Between worship team, tech team, Upward, and children's ministry stuff, this one was covered, and I am pleased to say this is part of our regular, everyday life.

I thought #3 would be the hardest.  We had just finished FPU when the challenge was first issued, and we had learned that since we are indebted to others, our money really isn't our own, and before we can give above and beyond our usual tithe, we must pay off our debts.  Well, there's no way that was going to happen before the end of 2013, so we had to do some creative negotiating with our budget to figure that one out.

#1 has proved to be the most difficult.  Grant has been saying all along that it averages out to just under 10 minutes a day.  Who doesn't have 10 minutes a day?  Um, me, apparently.  Focused prayer has always been a hard thing for me.  I'm really more of a situational or "sniper" pray-er, if you will.  I will pray about things on my mind, or people I know, or random people I see that I don't know, but I'm not great about focusing one one thing and praying about it for more than, say, 10 seconds.  Is there such a thing as prayer ADD?  I think I have it.  In my experience, my most heartfelt praying experiences are always when I write them out, but the time-manager in me cringes at this approach because I could get so much more into my prayer if I will just pray it instead of write it, but if I'm too distracted to stay on point, then what difference does it make???  Ugh...I'm getting frustrated just typing about it.  So while I haven't been a complete success in this department, the experience has caused me to realize that this needs to be an area of focus for me in 2014.

Which is the point of all of this - refocus and gear up for what God is going to do in 2014.  There is something amazing about being on the brink of a new year, thinking about everything that has happened in the past year, and what a different place we are in now than when we stared one year ago.  This is one of my favorite times of year for that reason! 

12 Days of Reflection - #10: Wardrobe

 DISCLAIMER: This one is far less "serious" than the others.  But I think it's been a good decision all the same.

I am not, nor will I ever be, a fashionista.  Over the years, I have built up a wardrobe of function and frugality.  Most of my pieces are hand-me-downs or from a thrift store or (more likely) garage sale.  Many are years old.  Like, since college years old. Clothing has always been purpose-fulfilling and nothing more.  I pick the shoes in which my feet will be warmest.  My hair goes back wet.  I take the time to make sure I match, but that's pretty much it.  I like styles of other people, but I am not fashionable enough (or well-financed enough) to pull them off myself.

 

Since losing more than 40 lbs, I have found that the wardrobe department is much more fun than I had once thought.  Thanks to the generosity of many friends and my husband, I have now built up a wardrobe that is both functional and relatively (especially when you consider where I started) fashionable.  I now own boots, scarves, leggings, tights, and am working on fixing my hair every day.  I am also looking at upgrading my make-up (any recommendations?).

And I've been able to do all of this relatively cheaply.  Chelsea and Lindsey have been a great help, giving me stuff and taking me shopping, and I have been able to order some things online and pick them up on sale at the store, and, as it turns out Ms seem to be much more prevalent than Ls and XLs!

Why is this a good decision?  Because as much as we say looks don't matter, they kind of do.  I look far more professional at work when I am not picking my clothes out based on comfort.  And, maybe the biggest one: I am a much better reflection on my husband when I show up to church looking my best and not like I just rolled out of bed.  And I don't say that because my husband has EVER given me any grief over anything like that.  But my dad said something to me once - I don't even remember the exact wording or details - about how I am a reflection on him no matter where I go, what I do, or what I look like.  It stuck with me. 

How has it changed me?  Mmm...I feel more confident when I really like my outfit?  That might be the extent of the change.  This is a pretty superficial one, after all.

12 Days of Reflection - #9 FPU

 Decision #9 - Enrolling in the Financial Peace University class at church.

I have talked about this several times, but I cannot get over what a huge impact this one little decision has had on our finances, our marriage, and our lives, really.  It might seem dramatic to say it that way, but it's so true.  We have learned so much in these past few months, and not just about money.  I think we will look back in 20 years and call this a turning point for our family.  Details here.

YAL Book Conference

Can I please have a moment for my love of YAL (Young Adult Literature)?  I don't know if it's because I work with young adults, or because I've tried my hand at adult books and just don't like them, or because my maturity level just sort of camps here, but I love them.  LOVE them.

I went to my favorite book conference this week.  I don't know how she does it, but this woman reads a book a day.  AND she still has a job in the schools - high school librarian.  The companion book for the conference is more than 200 pages long.  It contains more than 300 titles all published in 2013.  The companion book was due to BER from her in October.  And THEN, she gave us a supplementary sheet with titles she's read SINCE October, kicking the total number up to 355.  That is crazy-sauce.  But also, WAY awesome-sauce.

I think I wanted to read every book on her list, but I settled for these 20:

• Cinder by Marissa Meyer (the sequel is actually the one that came out this year, but I thought I'd start with this one)
• Vote by Gary Paulsen
• The Compound by S.A. Bodeen (another book with a sequel that came out this year)
• Just One Day by Gayle Forman - this one has a companion novel that also came out in 2013 called Just One Year. The premise is a girl meets a guy while she's in Europe, has a whirlwind romance for 24 hours, and then he disappears, leaving her heartbroken.  Just one Year is the boy's side of the story, because (apparently) what caused him to disappear was more than just a whim.  I really want to read this one. I tried to get this at B&N the other day, but I only had $10 and this was $18 :(

•  Ettiquitte and Espionage by Gail Carriger
• Island of Thieves by Josh Lacey
• The Testing by Joelle Charbonneau - THIS one looks awesome.  I book talked it to some students Thursday and one of them went home, bought it at B&N, and was already into it when she came to school yesterday.  She said it's awesome.  Check out the book trailer here.  (Another cool thing I learned - publishing companies are making book trailers for books because they are so effective with young people - cool!)
• Maggot Moon by Sally Gardner
• The 5th Wave by Rick Yancey - also a book with a trailer
• Rose Under Fire by Elizabeth Wein - a Hollocaust book, so I am interested already.

• Out of the Easy by Ruta Sepetys
• Imprisoned by Martin W. Sandler - this is a non-fiction text (or should I say, "explanatory") about Japanese internment...yikes!
• The President Has Been Shot by James Swanson - also an explanatory, this time about the assassination of JFK
• March by John Lewis - I'm particularly excited about this explanatory book because it's about Civil Rights.  Since we are picking new resources at school and we think? we are going to be able to keep this unit next year, I'm eager to check this one out.  In fact, I took a break from typing this to put it in my Amazon cart. :)

•  The Vine Basket by Josanne La Valley - I'm particularly interested in this one because it's a multicultural title from China
• The Tragedy Paper by Elizabeth LaBan
• Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell - the speaker said about this author, "If there's anyone who can corner the John Green market, it's this lady."
• If You Find Me by Emily Murdoch
• Counting by 7s by Holly Goldberg Sloan
• This Is What Happy Looks Like by Jennifer E. Smith - this one looked like an adorable love story.  I looked for it at B&N too, but couldn't find it, so I settled for another one by the same author, which I started Thursday night :)

I would say this is my reading list for the next few months, but at the rate I've been reading lately, it would really have to be more like the next year.  It also may be difficult to get ahold of many of these titles.  Because they are so new, most of them are only in hardback, making them expensive to purchase, and there aren't many used copies available.  I will start with the library and go from there.

12 Days of Reflection - #8: Work

 Decision #8 - Return to work in August.

I don't know that this qualifies as a decision, per se - I really had no option in this case.  But I'm including it because I made a choice to want to return to work.

I have no qualms about calling last school year the worst and most difficult of my career.  It started on September 5th when I went on bed rest and missed nearly three months of key time with my students.  It resumed on December 3rd when I returned to work.  I had just experienced one of the most trying and difficult times of my life with the birth of my premature baby, and here I return to school with the most challenging group of kids with which I'd ever dealt.  But I can't blame it all on the kids. I was tired, emotionally exhausted, and, to be frank, grouchy.  I was struggling with kids, co-workers, changes in my curriculum, and, as the end of the year approached, the realization that my best friend and closest co-worker was going to be leaving me.  Cap the whole experience with a perfect summer with my kiddos, and you end up with me really really really wishing I didn't have to go back to work.  Dreading August 6th.

So after a brief time of mourning, I made a decision.  I was going to be excited about the school year.  No more of this wishing things were different.  It wouldn't change anything and it just served to sour my mood.  So I decided to be excited about the school year.  I just reread the blog post I wrote right before the beginning of the school year.  I think I sound more excited than I actually was, but it worked.  It was a very good decision because my heart is in the right place, and one of the goals I wrote down was "be content to bloom (happily, not grudgingly) where God has placed me."  And, even though this year has been full of unexpected happenings and frustrations in its own right, I am trying to remember that my only real job is to love kids, and, unfortunate though it may be, I think that's where the biggest change has taken place.  I tend to get so caught up in the extra stuff that comes with teaching, but this is where my heart needs to be.  And it's a lot easier to do when I'm not fighting against the circumstance.

12 Days of Reflection - #7: Pre-School

Decision #7: Enrolling our son in preschool

All the classes together for their Christmas PJ party :)

This is something we both really really wanted to do for our son.  Our mothers have been so amazing providing care for our son for the past three years, but now they are doing the same for our daughter, and, to be fair, our son is a handful!  They needed a break.

Even if I were a stay-at-home mom, we would want our children in preschool.  They learn so many things - how to sit still, how to use a public bathroom, how to listen to a speaker in a group, how to walk in a line - things for which home isn't really a great setting.  But most importantly to us, he is receiving exposure to other people.  He is learning how to take turns.  He is learning how to share.  He is learning how to interact with peers and with authority figures.  He is learning what behaviors are acceptable and which ones aren't.  In short, he is learning how to be a functional part of his society.

And he is learning to care for his friends.  One night we were praying and, with no prompting, he says "And dear Jesus, please help Easton because he is sick."  I don't mind telling you that I got a little teary.  He saw a need in a friend and brought it to Jesus.  Already, my little 3-year-old is working for the kingdom.  And isn't that the ultimate goal?

I'm sure there are people who would argue that you don't need preschool to teach these things, and I'm sure, for some people, that's probably true.  But for us, this is definitely one of the best decisions of 2013.

Oh, and have I mentioned that he LOVES it????  He loves his friends, Miss Jesse and Miss Stephanie, and all his other teachers.  A huge THANK YOU to these wonderful ladies for all they do for our sweet kiddos.  Do you see in the picture that behind the kids is a fireplace made from butcher paper with stockings hung on string from the ceiling?  They definitely go above and beyond for these kids.  If something happened suddenly and he couldn't go to preschool, that kid would be devastated.  And so would we!

12 Days of Reflection: #6 - The Job

 On June 10th, 2013, my husband started his new job. (Details on how he got it here and here.)

And there was much rejoicing.

He's been there 6 months.  They love him (he is pretty loveable) and he's already made himself an asset to the company.  Like most engineers, he is painfully detailed and organized, extremely efficient, and very knowledgeable.  But unlike most engineers, he is very much a people-person.  He has become the person his team goes to for help, whether it be software (he's one of the only folks on his team who knows one of the architect programs), or just a hand with a project.  They have to log their time according to project, and one day he told me he spent a total of five of his eight hours helping people.  That is the kind of thing that would frustrate my obsession with being productive, but he is patient and a good teacher.  He also has a way of making people feel at ease, a gift I think he inherited from his grandpa Harold.

The commute can be rough and the hours long, but ultimately, this is definitely one of the best decisions of 2013.

Proud wife, here.

12 Days of Reflection - #5: Getting Fit

Decision #5 - Committing to losing weight and getting fit.

These pictures are about a year apart.  Now, to be fair to my year-ago self, I had just had a baby three days before this picture was taken, so I was at my very heaviest.  And the picture quality sucks.

Here is a link to how this has changed me...but I really don't think much more needs said.

12 Days of Reflection - #4: Recording Goals

 Decision #4 - Recording Goals

This is one of the habits of highly effective people, right?  I have not been great at this, but I made myself make a list of things I wanted to accomplish before I turn 30 (now a mere 5 months from now).  I have come back to this list occasionally, reminding myself of things that are important in my life.  I just reviewed them, and in the 9 months since I posted this list, here is my progress:

• 13 are done - YAY!
• 6 in the works - not bad
• 11 untouched - Ugh.

If you care to read on, go for it.  This is really more for me than anyone else, but posting it helps motivate me to stick with it.  Strike-throughs = done.  Highlights = in progress.  Nothings = well, nothing.

30 Before 30

1. Continue a consistent morning routine, including Bible study and prayer, before the rest of the house wakes - Got out of this habit. Needs work.
2. Have an exercise routine in place for at least 3 days/wk (I HATE running, but I would love to conquer my hate and do it anyway.  It worked with broccoli.) Not quite 3 days/wk, but if you factor in my summer exercise, it probably averages to about the same!
3. Be on my phone less
4. Make Thanksgiving dinner complete with a turkey, even if it's just for us, and even if it's not Thanksgiving
5. Plant and tend a garden - not sure I'm going to make it on this one, as there really isn't a planting season between now and April...
6. Make a first-year baby book for my daughter - photos are developed and sorted!
7. Be in the regular habit of reading for pleasure - not quite...haven't had a good enough book lately...
8. Spend at least 30 minutes of undivided time with my children every day completing an activity of their choice - SO much easier in the summers!
9. Eat at home every weeknight and serve a vegetable with every meal pretty much a habit!
10. Take more pictures Yep...much to my husband's irritation
11. Continue to give to our church and other ministries and programs, becoming more generous every year And this sure has been easier now that we are clawing our way out of debt!
12. Finish my book :) - this was a joke, hence the happy face
13. Be on the road to my goal weight (now that we are done having kids :) CHECK!!!!
14. Journal consistently - does blogging count?
15. Continue to keep diligent track of my children's medical information using their ISNs - yes
16. Do my daughter's hair each day that I get up with her - I don't think I was counting on how much hair she would NOT have when I thought up this goal.  Letting myself off the hook and crossing this one off.
17. Be discipled by an older, mature, and more experienced follower of Jesus - YES YES YES! Details here.
18. Recycle EVERYTHING that is recyclable - Boom.
19. Compile all the video I have of my son's first, third, and fourth years of life and my daughter's first year of life, edit together, and make a DVD for each year - umm...no
20. Read at least two books on parenting - 0 for 2.
21. Enroll my son in preschool - yes - and one of the best decisions we've made!
22. Build my husband up every day with my words and actions - always trying to make this a focus
23. Have built up our savings and emergency funds to our goal amounts - I'm crossing this one off because this goal changed into "emergency fund and debt payoff," and we are rocking it!
24. Have gone on a family vacation, or at least have one on the books - July 2014, baby!
25. Continue to reuse and save money by purchasing used items instead of buying retail - yep!
26. Have a date night with my husband at least once a month - don't necessarily need to spend money, but just be alone together without the kids - um...no.  Not even close :/
27. Build up a new wardrobe - YES! Thanks to Chelsea for giving me her old stuff, Lindsey for helping me shop and tolerating all my fashion ignorance, and my husband for insisting I spend money on clothing without feeling bad about it
28. Re-draft and re-commit to our budget considering changes in our income - check check!
29. Get outside more - nope...I still hate the outdoors
30. Be content to bloom (happily, not grudgingly) where God has placed me

12 Days of Reflection: #3 - Family Mini-Vaycay

Decision #3: Taking our Family Mini-Vaycay

I have no idea whether this is normal, but I am constantly thinking about trips I've been on.  I don't know if it's because I love travel, or because I learn so much from each new experience, but I think about them all. the. time.  I think about trips like this one less than say, our trip to China, but I do think about this one often, and with fondness.

Because we were supposed to keep Lucy home, we heavily debated taking the mini-vacation we had planned for spring break.  But we did.  And it was awesome.  We still talk about it as The Perfect Trip.  Read about it here and here.

And take a look at this cute little premie at five months!

And her equally adorable brother having a good old time at the science museum :)

12 Days of Reflection - #2: Discipleship

Decision #2 - I will actively participate in discipleship with a godly mentor.

I was going to start this post out with the definition of discipleship.  I googled "discipleship definition" and found, well, a ton of stuff.  Apparently, people comprehend a great deal in the term, and it was difficult to narrow it down to one succinct definition.  So here's what I came up with:

discipleship - n. the act of helping another grow by walking through life together

Not the greatest, so I'll elaborate.

As 2013 kicked off, I was feeling totally overwhelmed by my life.  I have been around enough to know that I needed someone - a 3rd party in my life to help inspire me, encourage me, push me, challenge me, and hold me accountable.  I prayed about someone and almost instantly, God brought Jennifer to my mind.  I first met her several years ago when I had her kind and brilliant daughter in my class.  She and her family began attending our church and one day, maybe two years ago, she saw me at church and casually asked how I was doing.  The floodgates flew open.  I was tired.  I was stressed.  My house was a disaster.  We'd eaten take-out every night that week.  I was about to kill, like, 8 kids at school.  She listened, nodded, and told me she'd pray for me.  She walked away and I felt like an idiot.  She had probably expected me to say "Fine, and you?" But no - I complained her ear off for 15 minutes.  The next day, I had an email in my inbox.  It was full of encouragement, affirmation, recipes, time-saving ideas for the kitchen, ways to involve my son in cleaning the house, on and on and on.  I couldn't believe that this near-stranger had taken so much time and energy to respond so completely to my ramblings.  It meant so much to me that I printed it off, glued it in my prayer notebook, and highlighted things I wanted to remember.  I have gone back to it several times.

So when her face popped into my head, I got really excited.  She is a wife like me, a mom like me, a teacher like me, a details person like me - and most importantly, she is someone I want to be like. I pulled out the laptop and typed a Facebook message to her asking if she'd be interested in meeting with me.  She said she would love to.

Since then, we have met to talk about God, marriage, parenting, cooking, in-laws, husbands, the Bible, money, babies, teaching, parents - everything under the sun.  We have shopped, cooked, eaten, exercised, and even sat in the back of the resource room closet at church because that was the only room available.  I have been painfully honest about things I would have rather kept secret, and she has spoken truth to me when I really needed to hear it.  In short, God has used her to grow me, mature me, change me into the woman He wants me to be.  Not that I'm anywhere CLOSE to there yet.  But thanks to Jennifer's investment in me, I am certainly closer.

Definitely one of the best decisions of 2013.

12 Days of Reflection - #1: Keeping Lucy Home

Decision #1 - Keeping Lucy home until March.

One of the most wonderful things about having a baby is getting to show her off.  People oohing and ahhing over the biggest and best accomplishment you will ever have in your entire life is a pretty great experience.  But when you have a baby six weeks early at the start of flu season, you don't get to enjoy that particular part of the experience.  You have to keep your baby home to help protect against sickness and infection.

At the hospital, they presented this to us not as something we had to do, but as something they highly recommend.  I remember a conversation my husband had with a nurse that went something like:

Nurse: We recommend you keep your baby home until March.
Rick: Alright.
Nurse: (taken aback) Really?
Rick: Yes. It's what's best for Lucy, right?
Nurse: Yes.
Rick: Okay. Decision made.
Nurse: That's not the reaction we usually get.
Rick: Um...what? Why not?
Nurse: Because it's inconvenient.  People take their little premies out and show them off, or to Walmart or wherever.  One of ours took her baby to a rock concert.  She contracted RSV and died two days later.
Rick: You don't have to worry about that with us.  She will be home until March.

And she was.  It was extremely disappointing - she really was the sweetest, tiniest and cuddliest little thing - and it was very inconvenient, but it was clearly what was best for our girl.  I think her first day in the nursery at church was technically whatever the last Sunday in February was, but we pretty much made it through four months of keeping her home.

And now, she is the smiliest, happiest, chunkiest, healthiest little baby you can imagine!

12 Days of Reflection

2013 is almost over, and in contemplating this fact, I have decided to pull out the best decisions I have made this year and spread them out over the course of 12 days.  So for the next 12 days, my posts will be focusing on decisions I made this year, why they were good, and how they have changed me.  But it may take me more than 12 days - they will all be up before Christmas, anyhow.

Anyone want to join? :)

Get FINANCIALLY Fit: Another Goal Down!

In November, we were able to cross another HUGE goal off our list:

1. Establish an emergency fund of $1000 CHECK
2. Pay off Loan #1 - car.  CHECK
3. Pay off Loan #2 - credit card. GOAL: Paid off by Christmas 2013 CHECK

CHECK CHECK CHECK!!!!

It was so exciting to hit SEND on that last payment.  After we did it, we both just looked at each other and grinned like idiots.  When we started, this loan felt MASSIVE, and we didn't think we'd have it paid off until March.  And now, it's gone!  ALL gone!  And the money we were putting toward that monthly is now going toward our next goal:

1. Establish an emergency fund of $1000 CHECK
2. Pay off Loan #1 - car.GOAL: Paid off by September 2013. CHECK
3. Pay off Loan #2 - credit card. GOAL: Paid off by Christmas 2013 CHECK
4. Pay off Loan #3 - other car. GOAL: Paid off by end of school year
5. Pay off Loan #4 - student loan.

The end of the school year, the end of the school year, the end of the school year.  We can do this!  It really is amazing to look back at this list and realize we've accomplished it all in only four months!  We are so thankful - and appropriately so, in this season of Thanksgiving - for this HUGE blessing!

Santa Extremist

I have a feeling that I am viewed by many as a Santa Extremist.

I don't often feel like an extremist, but when Christmastime comes around, and people discover that I don't tell my children they'd better be good or Santa won't bring them any presents, I don't read stories to them about Santa Claus and the North Pole, I don't do Elf on a Shelf - in short, I don't teach them that Santa Claus exists - I get this weird "crazy person" vibe from friends, co-workers, even some family.  It's like I'm some sort of freak because I don't teach this "gospel truth" to my children.  And I find it, well, confusing.

We do not teach our children that there is a Santa Claus for several reasons:

1. There isn't.  I have had enough conversations with Santa-enthusiasts to know better than to say "it's a lie," however, I have yet to hear an explanation that doesn't boil down to this.  There is no Santa Claus, and telling my child there is one is being untruthful.  Same thing with the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny.  We want our kids to believe the things that we tell them, and telling them things that are not true discredits us and sets a bad example.  I know not everyone agrees with this, but again, I have yet to hear an explanation that ends differently...
2. We want their behavior to be motivated by Jesus, not being good for Santa.  Our oldest is in the throes of 3-year-old-dom.  He is prone to whining, not sharing, being rude, and, just this week, even lying (though when his Daddy got in his face about it he reverted to the truth).  Saying, "You'd better be good or Santa won't bring you any presents" promotes the idea that Santa's opinion of him is what matters. We want to instill in him that it's Jesus he is trying to please, not Santa.  And we don't want him motivated by the idea of getting something.  He should do the right things because they are the right things.
3. We want them to understand that Christmas is about JESUS.  Gift-giving is already such a big thing at Christmastime.  Of course, gift-giving began because God gave us Jesus, but often in the hustle and bustle of the season, that part gets overlooked.  Adding Santa into the mix seems to me just one more thing to get in the way of remembering that Jesus is the reason we celebrate.

These seem so simple and obvious to me, but I know that I just trivialized very sentimental and deep-rooted traditions in the eyes of others.  I get that.  I am not saying that everyone should think this way.  I'm not on some crusade to rid the world of Santa.  But, as a parent, I am bound to do what I believe is best for my children.  I wouldn't be doing it otherwise!  Do you know how easy it would be to tell the kids there's a Santa?  Our culture already promotes it WAY above Jesus.  But I hope I am never the type of parent who makes decisions based on what's nice and easy.

I have talked about my views on home-schooling before.  It makes me so very sad when I think of what these kids will miss by not going to school.  Music programs. Open House. School carnivals. Class parties. Read Day. Class pets. Surprise blackouts. Teachers. Friends. I imagine Santa-enthusiasts feel something akin to this sadness when they think about what my children will miss - mailing off a letter to the North Pole, setting out milk and cookies on Christmas Eve, lying in bed wondering if Santa is flying over the house right now.  But ultimately, I remind myself that those parents are keeping their kids home because they believe they are doing what is best for their children.  I might not agree with it, but I can at least accord those parents the respect of understanding that it's their prerogative and they are acting in the best interests of their child.

So am I.  And that's why I can wear my "Santa Extremist" badge with confidence.  And when my children have children of their own, they will be free to make whatever decision they believe is best for them, too.

Family Pictures :)

I was super nervous about getting family pictures done.  I won't rehash it all because I already wrote a whole post about my anxieties over it, but ultimately, I think the outfits worked out well, even though it took nearly four hours of shopping to get them.  The good thing was that the temperature was very nice.  The bad thing was that it was EXTREMELY windy.  But our photographer over at Tiff Photography did such a great job that you can hardly tell.  I had a red scarf but it was blowing so bad that I didn't even wear it.  And, wonder of wonders, OUR SON SMILED!!!!!!!

Here are a few of my favorites:

And thanks to Chelsea for letting me borrow the boots :) Now time to make Christmas cards with all these beautiful pictures!

Thanksgiving

I am so thankful for this little boy....

 This little girl....

And the most amazing man with whom to share my life.

We are so beyond blessed.

Nerd Alert

Lindsey tagged me on Facebook in a post with this link and wrote "Randi, do you know this song? It's really popular right now."  Can we have a moment for how well Lindsey knows me?  Because, let's get real, if it's popular, I probably don't know it.  But, as it happens, they play this one at yoga.  So I do.

Boom.

If you have 3:16 minutes, it's pretty incredible.  If you don't, quit reading this and watch it.  Immediately.  Because Ohhhhhmyyyyyygooooooooooooodnessssssss.

I started to write a comment on the Facebook post.  And then I deleted it and broke my response into multiple comments, and then I decided to just write a post about it.  (It did, albeit briefly, enter my mind that this is really going to make my nerd-ness come out.  But let's get real.  It's truth, people.

"Moving on.")

People who are not vocalists often do not understand the RIDICULOUS challenges that are posed with a capella music, so let me try to break it down just a bit:

1. NO MUSIC - a capella is singing without musical accompaniment.  You don't have to be a vocalist to get this part, but JIC you didn't know. :)
2. PITCH - pitch is one's ability to sing the correct note, well, correctly.  It's also referred to as "intonation."  If you've ever heard someone say "He's flat," about a vocalist, they are referring to his pitch, and "flat" means he's just the slightest bit too low.  "Sharp" is the converse, but if someone is having intonation problems, they are ten times more likely to be flat than sharp.  Pitch comes from the musical accompaniment, but if you don't have the music, you've got to have pretty good very good pitch to start out in one key and then finish in it.  Often, vocalists will drift even just the tiniest bit.  It's not noticeable to the untrained ear, but by the time the piece is finished, it may even be a half step lower than where it started.  If you don't have good intonation (you might rethink this whole singing thing), you really should stick to music with accompaniment.
3. MULTIPLES -  So, building on pitch, when you add other voices into the mix, you require that they all, in turn, have very good excellent pitch.  If one person has the slightest inclination to sing even a fraction below the note, you've got a problem, because, as is true in life, it's easier to bring someone down than pull them up.  So you've got to have SERIOUS skill.
4. BLEND - This is one thing I struggled with when I was young.  Blend is the ability to match volume, quality, dynamic, enunciation, intonation - all of it with everyone in your group.  I know it might be hard to believe, but I was a little loud. :/ And the fewer people, the bigger the challenge.  With a song like this, there are several moving parts.  In this group, I count around 20 women, and at any given time, they may be singing 3-6 different parts, words, beats, etc.
5. DYNAMICS - The use of dynamics is the ability to vary the volume and intensity with which one sings.  It's a pretty powerful thing to hear a group of people slowly cresendo (get louder) or decresendo (get softer) at the same time in the same rate.  The ability to do so is why you get those goosebumps... And when you don't have accompaniment to help with this, you're left entirely to your voice.
6. BREATH - Breath support is one of those things people never hear about, but it's the first thing you learn in vocal training.  My first voice teacher made me lay down on the ground, place a hymnal on my stomach and keep it up for 64 counts.  I dare you to try this unless you are a vocalist or a swimmer, in which case, it's cake.  But breath with a group means you either have to coordinate your breathing, or do what we call "staggering" your breathing, which is where you sneak out and sneak back in. This is, again, harder to do the fewer people you have.

There are more, but I've got to get to the laundry, and let's face it, you skipped to the bottom anyway. 

Bottom line?  This is RIDICULOUSLY hard.  It looks easy and effortless, but behind this are hours and HOURS of preparation.  And, ridiculous skill.  I have a secret life dream to be a part of a group like this, (I LOVE LOVE LOVE a capella!) but the truth is that I'd need a LOT of work before I'd be up to par.

Parting thought: A capella music really is the unsung hero (pun intended) of vocal music.  I really wish it was more popular.  And I wish The Singoff hadn't gotten cancelled.  It was the one TV show I actually watched on TV.

Get FINANCIALLY Fit: Graduation :)

Today was graduation from our Financial Peace University class. 

When we started at the end of August, we had three credit cards (two were paid off, but we still had them open), two cars, and a student loan.  We also had a plan to save money.

And then we took this class and realized we were doing it ALL wrong.  We didn't need to save money, we needed to PAY BACK money!  And thus began our gazelle-intense journey to pay down our debt.  And the same for six other families.  Twelve weeks later:

This is SIX families.  SIX!  I am happy to say that $6,500 of that debt and two of those credit cards were ours!  It doesn't say how many cars were paid off, but if it did, ours would be up there!

Last night, Rick and I sat down and went over our goals again:

1. Establish an emergency fund of $1000 CHECK
2. Pay off Loan #1 - car.  CHECK
3. Pay off Loan #2 - credit card. GOAL: Paid off by Christmas 2013.
4. Pay off Loan #3 - other car.
5. Pay off Loan #4 - student loan.

We have only placed goals next to the loan we are currently working on in an effort to stay severely focused on the baby-step approach, but just for the heck of it, we mapped out what our debt-spending might look like if we kept this intensity up.  It was pretty exciting, and actually had us out of all non-mortgage debt much sooner than we originally anticipated.

And the REALLY great news is that we are going to have Loan #2 paid off by the end of November instead of December!  That means we jump an entire month ahead!  YAAAAAAAAAAAY!

As we celebrated our successes over breakfast with our class this morning, we all shared what was most significant about this experience.  It was neat to hear what everyone learned - things like how to shop for insurance, how to manage the debt snowball, how understand and communicate with your spouse about money, but my favorite moment was when my husband shared something like this:

We have always talked about money, struggled with money, tried to be responsible with money, but for the first time in our marriage, we have had a single, common financial goal that we are both 100% committed to, and it's working.  We are already seeing the results, and we have a plan.

This is our book, our diploma, and the $10 gift card we won!

In closing, if you have the opportunity to take this class, TAKE IT!  Even if you aren't struggling financially, I promise you you won't regret it.  You will learn something, even if feels more like marriage counseling than a finance class.  It costs to enroll, but we ended up taking the class for free, because the church reimburses all who graduate from the class at 50%, and Rick's work will reimburse all employees who take the class at 50%!  You really can't beat that.

Congrats to all our graduates!

Kindle Book: The Outsiders

THE Outsiders

by S.E. Hinton

Length: 180 pages

Format: Kindle book
Price: $6.44

Author Website: http://www.sehinton.com/

Basic Premise: Set in the 1960s, this novel follows orphan Ponyboy Curtis and his brothers as they struggle to live life alongside their rival gang, the Socs (short for "socials").  The Curtis boys and their gang, the Greasers, find themselves caught up in a murder case rife with violence and scandal.  As he tries to make sense of what has happened, Ponyboy begins to believe that there is more to life than what's in his.

My Take: 9 out of 10 (scale here)

I first read this book in college.  I was in a YAL class and I had to read nearly 40 books total, so I took a caseload of books with me when I went to South Africa.  I read this one on a particularly long bus trip to Capetown.  (Interesting note: we drove through the country of Swaziland, which is surrounded on all sides by South Africa.  We got off, got our passports stamped next to an enormous condom despenser, and got back on the bus only to repeat the process an hour later as we exited the country.  Weird.)  I don't remember being particularly impressed by it, other than liking how the beginning and ending sentences were the same.  I decided to reread it this year because we had students write a paper which compares this novel with the one we read in my class.  This is the first year I have done this project, so a reread was in order.  And I enjoyed it.  I can see why my reluctant readers - most of them, boys - gobble this book up.  It's violent, it's mature, but it's a great book, and a great lesson in the dangers of stereo-types.

I think I would love to teach this book.

Get Fit: Er...

Oh, cold weather, you are sapping me of all. my. energy.

Wanna know how many times I've worked out this week? ONCE. I can't go to yoga tonight because Rick wants to work late.  Wanna know how I feel about it? I'M RELIEVED.  Want to know when I plan to work out next? I HAVE NO IDEA.

This is the exact opposite of the sentiments I had this summer.  I wanted to work out.  I wanted to be active. But frankly, I just want to sit.  Sit.  SIT!

I am considering canceling my yoga membership, because unless I'm going 4-5 times a week, it's just not worth it, and I am barely getting 2-3 times in.  I can't walk any more because it's cold, and I'm just too dang busy to stay at school and work out in the work room.  Adding insult to injury - I've gained 3 lbs.  Maybe more.

So how do I figure all of this out?  How do I balance my kids, my husband, my housework, my meal prep, my full-time job, my (very very tiny) social life, and a workout schedule?  Do I have to chuck something?  Rearrange?

I'm frustrated.  And I'm done thinking about it.  It's Friday.  I'll worry about this later.

Kindle Book: The Laws of Gravity

The Laws of Gravity

by Liz Rosenberg

Length: 289 pages

Format: Kindle book
Price: FREE from the Kindle Lending Library

Author Website: couldn't find one...

Basic Premise: Cousins Nikki and Ari have been attached at the hip since grade school.  Now they are grown with children of their own, but have remained close - so close, in fact, that when Nikki is diagnosed with terminal cancer and told that the only hope for her survival is cord blood harvested from a family member, she turns to Ari for help.  Ari is not nearly as eager to hand over his children's cord blood as she hoped he would be, resulting in a nasty and highly-publicized court battle.

My Take: 7 out of 10 (scale here)

This book was interesting.  I was intrigued by the premise, though made considerably uncomfortable by the moral issue at stake as the novel progressed.  Any time a novel deals with a big moral issue - in this case, the question of sacrificing cord blood that may one day help heal your child to someone who needs it desperately now - I generally pick a side and camp there, maintaining a continuous inner-monologue with the characters in which I roundly abuse them and their poor decision-making skills.  But this one was harder.  The novel also followed the judge who had ultimately make the final decision, and how his heart and his head never really aligned.  The writing style was good, but I could have used more character development.  I found myself frequently thinking, "Why would she do that?" and "I wonder what drove him to that point."  I felt like the author should acquainted me with her characters a bit better - revealed more back story, been more detailed -  so that I wouldn't have to question.

To be honest, the timing of this novel was terrible.  Within the past two weeks, three friends - one of them an acquaintance, one a good friend, and the other someone I've known and been close to since childhood - have been diagnosed with cancer.  I finished it last night and did a fair amount of crying, and thinking about how very precious life is, and how thankful I am for my health and the health of my family.