The {New} Job

So, after two years of driving 70-90 minutes (depending on the time of day) twice a day to commute to work, Husband got a new job to which he drives 7-9 minutes (depending on the lights) twice a day.

I can't really put into words how this has changed our lives, so I'm not going to try. What I'm going to do instead is describe the extraordinary circumstances God used to get us here.

Circumstance #1: BURNOUT
I was overwhelmed. A typical day worked like this - up at 5 AM, chores, shower, dress, get kids up, dressed, fed, and out the door. Drop off at school (or sometimes Grandma's depending on Sister's location for the day), get to work, scramble to get stuff ready, teach ALL day, try to get the kids picked up by 3:45 (though it was usually 4), run any errands required, get home, try to get dinner ready, hurry up and eat it, and get wherever we were supposed to get (if it was a Wednesday or Thursday) and hope hope hope I wouldn't get a text that said, "Hey, I have to work late. Probably be home after the kids are in bed." He worked CONSTANTLY and also had to travel out of state. In fact, last year, he was gone the week before I had to go back to work and the week school started. And this was just me, people. Imagine how he was feeling - never home, always driving or working, never seeing the kids, leaving home before the sun comes up and coming home well after.

As you might imagine, this was leading to extreme frustration on both our parts - mine because I was shouldering almost all the home and child-raising responsibilities and working full-time, and his because he was always working or driving. We discussed moving there. We discussed moving halfway and both commuting. We discussed me getting another job that would allow me to be home more. We discussed everything we could possibly think of, and every time, the best solution was to get a job where we already live. But that was easier said than done.

Circumstance #2: COUNSEL
In January, he was offered a position on the East Coast with his job. That might have solved our problem - it meant we would just all move to the East Coast and we could buy a place close to his work. By the time the offer was finalized, it was relatively easy to turn down. It wasn't going to be enough for me to quit my job, which is really the only reason we would have considered it. Later that month, we asked a trusted friend to listen to our hearts about the situation and offer counsel. He did - he said, "You can't keep doing what you are doing. It's too much and it's not good for your kids. Let's pray for a job here."

Yes. That is a good idea.

Circumstance #3: BILL SELF'S HOUSE
In February, Husband was invited by our friends Zak and Jo to a charity event in Lawrence at Bill Self's house. Bill Self's house. This is REAL LIFE, people. BILL SELF'S HOUSE. (I was invited, too, but naturally, it was one of the FOUR EVENINGS A YEAR I HAVE TO WORK. So while he got to sit on Bill's couch and chat with Cindy, I was at parent teacher conferences trying to pretend I was happy about it.) As he was mingling and sending me pictures of Bill's pool table, Zak introduced him to a man who worked for an engineering firm in Lawrence. Husband knew the same company had an office where we live. 7-9 minutes away, to be exact. As they chatted, Husband learned that he actually ran the office in Lawrence, and when he learned Husband was driving over an hour to and from work every day, he said, "Well if you ever want to nix that drive, let me know. They are looking to hire an MEP (mechanical/electrical/pluming, PS). Send me your resume if you're interested."

People, MAGIC THINGS happen at Bill Self's house.

Circumstance #4: INTERVIEWS (5!)
We sent said resume. Obviously. Within a week, Husband had received an email asking if he'd like to meet a few of them for drinks - not an interview, but a "talk." He went and it went very very well. Our hopes were high.

Over the course of the next THREE MONTHS, Husband went in four more times. I'm not sure why they needed four (five, if you count the "talk") meetings with him, but FINALLY they offered him a job. Obviously, we were ecstatic. It was a bit of a pay cut, but not when you considered the money we'd save in gas, not to mention the priceless driving time! Husband called and accepted.
Yes,
yes,
yes.

Circumstance #5: Wait...what?
The next day was a Thursday. My people-pleaser husband was dreading telling his bosses (whom he loved, and who have always treated him well) that he was quitting. I think he felt physically ill. When he did it, both of them immediately responded with "We want to keep you. Let us get our ducks in a row and we will have a counter offer." Okay, let me be frank here. Husband is very, very good at his job. He is a perfectionist in the extreme, and in only two years, he had worked himself into project management positions and become the software expert on his team. He also very, very good with people, and if you know many engineers, you know this is not necessarily the case with all of them. Throughout his two years with this company, Husband has frequently been hailed and praised by his superiors for his "harmonious" disposition and his "leadership" skills and potential. So it wasn't exactly a shocker when they said they wanted to keep him. He basically told them this wasn't a career move - it wasn't about money. It was about being home more. And there was no possible way they could give that to him. So thank you for the compliment, and I have loved working with you, but putting together an offer would be a waste of your time.

They relented. We were looking forward to only two more weeks of driving! The night before his last few days, he said to me, "I'm really looking forward to these last few days. Low stress, tying up loose ends, and just being done."

I got an email at work the next day that said, "Can you talk? We have a problem..." Um...what? I called as soon as possible. Husband had just spent half an hour with the PRESIDENT (this is a a 500+ employee company, people). He said he had just learned that Husband was leaving. He offered him a 15% increase and the ability to work from home.

Wait...what?

"I am furious with your team for not offering this to you in the first place. We want to keep you. I realize you have already accepted this other offer, but you are the kind of guy we want to pass the company off to someday. We will do whatever we need to to keep you, which includes making an exception to that part of the handbook that says, 'Employees who live within 200 miles are expected to drive to work every day.' So, what do you say?"

I can honestly tell you Husband was heartbroken. He loved his job. He loved the people, he loved the company, he could see a future there for sure. Had he known this was an option (and why would he? NO ONE works from home. Not even the VPs!), we very likely would have taken it. I was proud of him for saying as much to the president, who nodded and said, "Yes, we dropped the ball. This was our fault and I'm sorry." In true Husband fashion, he thanked him for his time and faith in him, told him he'd already made a commitment, and shook his hand. The president said he understood and admired Husband for his decision, but should he ever change his mind, the offer would stand.

Two Months In:

Two months in, things are going well. Husband is home nearly every day by 4:40, rarely works overtime, and is learning new things. This company is much smaller, so his range of responsibilities has broadened considerably, but he is enjoying the challenge. We had lunch with Dad once a week this summer, and he will be doing drop offs for this school year (HALLELUJAH!). And just last week we went over to the house of one of the guys Husband works most closely with for swimming and a cookout. It was great fun! God has surely worked things together for good.

Book: Night

Night

by Elie Viesel

Length: 120 pages 
Format: Paperback 
Price: Free - borrowed from a friend

How I heard about it: I subbed in 8th grade at the end of last year when they were concluding their Anne Frank unit. The sub plans required me to read a chapter of this book aloud to students. I was intrigued.

 

Basic Premise: This memior documents the experiences of Elie Wiesel as he was removed from his home to a Jewish ghetto, and then from the ghetto to several different labor camps before he was finally liberated at the end of the war.

My Take: 8 out of 10 (scale here)  
I don't mean to, but it seems to work out that I frequently read similar books in chunks. I just read The Auschwitz Escape and I followed it up with this book about life in concentration camps. This one was different because it was told in first person, which made it all the more gut-wrenching. It was beautifully written, full of imagery and poetry. It was exquisite.

When I subbed for this class, I have to tell you I was completely caught off guard. I rather pride myself in my ability to read aloud. I am smooth and expressive and I hardly ever mess up. However, as I read this chapter of text aloud to a class full of 8th graders, I was overcome with emotion. It was unreal, the things he was describing. It was so beyond evil, what was happening to this boy and his family. I stumbled through to the end and looked up at the class with tears in my eyes. One of the boys I had last year piped up and said, "It's okay. We know. This is hard stuff." What followed was a beautiful, authentic conversation with students, only a handful of whom I knew, about right, wrong, struggle, and humanity. It was an incredible 46 minutes. And it's these sorts of experiences that make teaching so rewarding.

Pinterest Projects

I have never been a huge fan of Pinterest, but lately I've found it very inspiring! The following are a few Pinterest Projects.

Project #1: Grilled Cheese Rolls

Basically, these are grilled cheese sandwiches rolled up.

Flatten the bread with the rolling pin.

Add the cheese.

Roll up.

Melt butter and use a brush to coat all sides.

Place on hot skillet and cook.

Enjoy! My son liked this dipped in Ranch.

Project #2: Hot Dog Spaghetti
This one was a hit in particular because it was so easy for my son to help!

Chop the hotdog into small pieces.

Thread 4-5 dry spaghetti noodles through each hotdog piece.

Boil until the spaghetti is done.

Enjoy!

Project #3: Greek Yogurt Pizza Crust 
I was slightly less eager to try this recipe only because I thought there was no way this could be as good as the blog post I found about it. Nevertheless, I tried it out with stromboli. I didn't take pictures, but I think this picture speaks for itself:

Truly, it was so so good! I repeated it last week with actual pizza and it was just as yummy!

Project #4: Kindergarten Countdown
I saw this on Pinterest and decided it was the perfect thing for my uber-excited pre-kindergartner!

 

I started by drawing a school bus. (That's right, people. I drew that bus.) We then created the links using card stock and a stapler.

He refused to color the school bus in the traditional yellow and instead, went with a multi-color look. I gave him a picture of himself to put in the window of the bus. (If I had prepared a little better and wasn't lazy, I would have gotten pictures of his friends to put in the other windows.) He insisted on being the driver.

We have had so much fun counting down. Though I will say that every time we count down, I am reminded of how little summer we have left! :(

Kindle Book: The Auschwitz Escape

The Auschwitz Escape

by Joel Rosenberg

Length: 480 pages

Format: Kindle Book Price: $9.99

How I heard about it: A friend who knows I love Holocaust literature

 

Basic Premise: The book follows Jean-Luc, a French Gentile, and Jacob, a German-born Jew. Jean-Luc and his family have been helping Jews escape to freedom from their small town in France. After the Nazis killed his parents, Jacob fled his homeland and joined resistance effort in Belgium. Their stories are told independently at first, but, as you may imagine from the title, they link up when the two meet at Auschwitz and plan an escape.

My Take: 9 out of 10 (scale here)  
Historical fiction has never been my favorite genre. As a child, I loathed all things associated with history. As I grew into myself as a reader, however, I began to regard historical fiction not as a history lesson, as I had always thought of it before, but instead as story in which the setting played the role of a main character. Of all of the historical fiction I have read, Holocaust literature is the genre in which I am most well-read. Over the past 15 years, I've basically read every book that has crossed my path about the subject, and some of them multiple times. So when a friend at church recommend this book to me, it was an easy sell.

However, having read so many books of this type, I can safely say I have a love-hate relationship with books like this. My head is inclined to read about all the atrocities committed during this time period, the unspeakable things that were done to the thousands upon thousands upon thousands of innocent people, and believe it. My heart, however, suffers a little from disbelief. I'm not sure why this is. Maybe it's because I have never been exposed to anything remotely violent and can't really wrap my mind around it. Or maybe it's because of the innately shocking evilness of the acts. Whatever it is, it nearly always makes me ask the question, why do I keep reading about this stuff? Why do I keep putting these terrible thoughts and images in my head? Why do I keep reading about things that are so so so so evil? (Is there a better word than evil? I tried in vain to think of one.) I always decide that if people had to live it, the least I can do is read about it.

This book was no different than others that regard, and in some ways maybe worse. The story was good and the author was obviously well-informed both in events of the day and in the details of every day life in the camps. There were times where I wanted more information, particularly in the beginning when the author would gloss over a year or two without details, but by and large, the story was well-constructed. There were moments when I had physical reactions to what I was reading, like a gasp or tears or sighs of anguish. And I can always tell a good book by the way I wake up the next morning. The ones that are really good, that really take hold, that really penetrate, are the ones I can't stop thinking about the next morning.

This was a GREAT read.

Financial Goals Update

 I know I've blogged before about the awkwardness of sharing personal financial information on the Internet. It's an awakened thing to do face-to-face, so obviously it's awkward online. However, like so many other things, sharing about it seems to help make it real. It helps keep focus. It makes it feel BINDING.

In February, I shared our latest financial victory when I wrote about paying off our car. This month, we scored AGAIN.

To preface, I need to mention Husband's change in employment. (I can't believe this is the first time I'm writing about this. It will get its own post. It has changed our LIVES.) He got a new job and, while he's making about the same amount, the savings in gas and toll alone equal out to be about a 12% raise! Add in cheaper benefits and less wear and tear on the car, and this is a no-brainer. (As if the proximity and increased time at home weren't enough.)

We weren't really sure how everything was going to shake out as we sat down to go through numbers. We knew we were saving on gas and toll (to the tune of $300-400!). We knew we were saving on childcare since it's summertime (almost $900). We knew Husband's last check from his former employer included pay for unused sick days and some bonus money. We were not prepared, however, to be left with almost TRIPLE the amount of money we usually pay down on our debt at the end of each month. We checked and rechecked. Sure enough.

So, for the month of June, we were able to make our largest single-month contribution to debt since we started this journey.

It. Was. AMAZING!

We discussed long and short-term goals and basically came up with a five-year plan. For now, though, we are taking baby steps. We made a few decisions, like the fact that the big gaping hole in our bedroom, which will someday be a bathroom, will remain a big gaping hole for the foreseeable future. We receive five paychecks in the course of the month and we committed to putting the biggest one on debt each month, straight out of the gate. So, with some extra momentum under our belts, we have updated our goals:

1. Establish an emergency fund of $1000 CHECK
2. Pay off Loan #1 - car.GOAL: Paid off by September 2013. CHECK
3. Pay off Loan #2 - credit card. GOAL: Paid off by Christmas 2013 CHECK
4. Pay off Loan #3 - other car. GOAL: Paid off by end of school year, 2014 by end of summer, 2014 by February 2015 CHECK!
5. Pay off renovation - GOAL: Paid off by end of summer, 2015
6. Pay off LAST LOAN - Undergrad. GOAL: Paid off by August 2016

Last year, we had car problems. And bats. Already this summer, Son has been in TWICE for medical procedures. And yesterday we got to drop another $300 on car repairs. We know from experience that things do not always go according to plan. Because of this, we have built in some cushion. If (when) something goes wrong, we will adjust. But we will do everything we can to keep on track. Because if we can stick with this, it means we will be debt-free in just over one year's time.

That BLOWS my mind. We took out our first loan for my car in 2007. We have carried debt around for eight years! What is it going to be like to be debt-FREE?

Even the Two-Year-Old Gets It

Last week, Sister and I stole an hour together. (And I use the word "stole" literally...we ditched the boys and sneaked out of the house.) We headed out, she in the stroller and I pushing her, trying to psych myself up for an ambitious FOUR miles in one hour. (Didn't happen, BTW.) About two minutes into our walk, Lucy stops me and says, "Mommy, it's time to pray."

"Huh?" I say. My mind is not on her. I've been pretty preoccupied lately with all the happenings that have victimized African Americans and homosexuals in the news lately. Maybe it's on the state of our nation, the state of the church, the seeming split of custom and culture, and people on their freaking high horses about how people should or shouldn't be living their lives. I have been reading just about everything I can get my ehands on and my mind is in overdrive. "What, baby?"

"A siren, Mommy. Let's pray."

Brief back-story: every time I hear a siren, I pray. I started doing this when I was in college. I thank God for people whose job it is to respond when people call for help, I ask him to give them speed and wisdom, and I pray for those who are in trouble. When I had kids, I started doing it out loud with them.

As we were walking, I didn't even HEAR the siren. But my TWO-YEAR-OLD did! And she responded with prayer. Cue the mommy heart-swell. Pat yourself on the back, Mom. You have this spiritual guidance thing DOWN. Wait - let's take it a step further.

"Excellent thought, Sister. Why don't YOU pray?" That's right. Let's give her some experience with independent prayer right after it was her idea. That will really teach her. Yep. She will be a regular prayer DIVA.

"Okay," she says, and I stoop a little to be sure to catch what she says, because unlike my son, who tends to say the same basic thing every time, Lucy is a pray-by-the-seat-of-your-pants sort of girl. And so she begins:

"Dear Jesus, please take care of my people. They are in trouble."

She didn't stop there. She rambled on and on in her adorable and utterly indecipherable two-year-old-tongue. But I stopped there. MY PEOPLE. I was stuck on her word choice - not "the people" or "those people" - MY PEOPLE. I thought about how beautiful it is to think of total strangers as MY PEOPLE. I thought about how perfect and innocent and genuine and REAL her compassion was. These people are strangers, but not to her. They are HER PEOPLE. She really IS a prayer diva! (wink wink)

In the days that followed, I was mindful - almost haunted by this phrase MY PEOPLE. As I read story after story, opinion after opinion, angry blogger after angry blogger, hurt soul after hurt soul, it was almost like God was whispering MY PEOPLE to me over and over and over again.

The thing is, Jesus wasn't vague about what He wanted from His followers. In fact, someone asked Him point blank:

“Teacher, which command in God’s Law is the most important?”
Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.'
 - Matthew 22:36-38 (MSG)

And just a few chapters later, He says this:

"'I was hungry and you fed me,
I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,
I was homeless and you gave me a room,
I was shivering and you gave me clothes,
I was sick and you stopped to visit,
I was in prison and you came to me.’

“Then those ‘sheep’ are going to say, ‘Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?’ Then the King will say, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.’ - Matthew 25:26-40 (emphasis mine)

Love me. Love MY PEOPLE. It's not complicated.
Even the two-year-old gets it.
Thirty-one-year-old, learn from her. Stop thinking. Stop philosophizing. Stop rationalizing. Stop complicating.

Start
loving.

Yoga

Last summer, the yoga studio did 30 Days of Sweat in June (where you go to yoga every single day in the month of June). I was particularly excited about this because I was the one who made the suggestion in the first place, and they decided to go with it. But then, I injured my back and my chances of participating in that went up in flames. I was devastated.

So this summer, I was bound and determined to participate.  Because they gave me the shirt anyway, and I really wanted to be able to wear it. Only… they decided not to do it again. 😓 But, I decided, no matter! I could go every day in June on my own! So I set out to do just that.

My first day back was actually right at the end of May, and I went as many times as I could between then and June 1, knowing that going from nothing to sweating like that every single morning was going to be rough on my body. I started on June 1. At the end of the first week, I saw a flaw in my plan. I was leaving town all day Saturday, so there was no way I was going to be able to yoga on Saturday. I thought, no big deal, I'll just skip. Looking ahead to Sunday, I realized they had changed the schedule to include only one class on Sunday, which was at 11 AM. I'm at church from 7 to 12:30, so that wasn't going to work. So I therefore determined to go to yoga every single week day and as many Saturdays as I possibly could. As it turned out, in the month of June, I yogaed 23 times out of 30. I feel pretty good about that number considering the fact that my back is hating this. Steadily, my back has been getting worse and worse. The pain used to be concentrated in my lower back on the left-hand side, and it used to be very steady. Now, it's on both sides and it is starting to creep up into my middle back and gets gnarly anytime I bend from the waist. There were at least two days where the night before I was in so much pain that I decided to give myself a break the next day and skip out. It's gotten bad enough, that I have called my doctor back to try to see if she has any more ideas, because everything I've tried so far has not helped.

I went this morning for the first time in July, and I tried to really take it easy on my back. I really do love going. I love feeling strong and like I can do hard things. I love the heat (definitely something I never thought I'd say), and I love how I feel when it's all over. I love that I can see my body undergoing changes… poses or moves that were really hard in the beginning are much easier now. I really like the instructors and the environment. I am not a fan of the price, but as I hate all other forms of exercise, I feel it's a worthy investment to do something I actually look forward to AND exercise at the same time. I am planning to continue to go as often as possible, but I do think I will start skipping on Wednesday. I think that will be best to give my back a little break mid-week. (It's also the hottest class of the week!)

I've also been able to snag a few walks here and there. I can't exactly throw the kids in the double stroller anymore, but I have been able to sneak a few in after dinner. I think I need a Fitbit to help me out with walks!