I'm a Guest Poster!

Oh my goodness...I am so excited to be featured on my very favorite money-saving site, Passionate Penny Pincher!  Seriously - I love her so much.  I am thrilled to be a part of her efforts!

Check out the post here.

YAY! :)

Get Fit: My Diet

 In college, I worked for a health freak.  He really was a great guy and an EXTREMELY generous boss, and he was freakishly committed to helping people get healthy, even if they had no interest in it (like most of us in the office).  Kristin used to come back from lunch with her Dr. Pepper, and he used to say, "You know, Kristin, that phosphoric acid from that Dr. Pepper is going to eat your stomach inside out."  Eww.  He would bring us carrot juice (which actually isn't bad) from the Juice Stop.  He would bring us fresh fruit - apples, grapes, pineapple - in the mornings.  Sometimes he would bring us seed mixtures (sesame seeds, sunflower seeds...okay, those are the only two seeds I know - but there were others) mixed with almond milk.  He would insist that we only drink reverse-osmosis water while at work.  He gave me a bottle of (what I'm sure were expensive) probiotics to take every morning.  He hated milk.  He used to say "We are the only species on the planet that drinks milk after weaning," and "We are the only species on the planet that drinks the milk of another species." And so on and so on...you get it.

He bought us all copies of the book Eat to Live by Dr. Joel Fuhrman.  And according to him, this book was (nearly) on par with the Bible, folks.  I can't tell you how many times I heard him recommend Dr. F's book to clients on the phone during the work day.  I read it (well, read parts of it, skimmed the rest) and, as much as I loved to roll my eyes, it made sense.  So when one of my co-workers invited me to join her in the Eat to Live diet, I said, sure - why not?  I'm a little thicker than I'd like to be - bring it on!  And on it came.  The diet is basically this: you eat plant-based foods.  And plant based foods only.  Since plant based foods were nowhere to be found in my diet, I noticed a change immediately.  I had more energy, my poop started floating (is that okay to say?), and weight started literally falling off.  Literally.  I believe this was the key to my success - results were immediate.  In the first twenty-four hours I lost one pound.  By the end of the week I had lost six.  My face was thinner.  My pants were looser.  People were commenting.  A few weeks after I started the diet I was in a wedding and my dress no longer fit.  My mom had to alter it down for me.  I couldn't believe it.  I felt so good that the uber-strictness of the diet didn't even matter.  And I got to where I actually liked it.  Broccoli, which I had always hated, became a friend.  Romaine lettuce and spinach, too.  I ate fresh green beans - I don't think I even know they didn't have to come in a can!

In two months (March to May), I had lost nearly 25 pounds - down to 147, a size 8!  At the end of May I left on a two week trip to South Africa with a big group.  Since we were in a big group, I didn't always have a choice about what food I was served, and being in a different culture and wanting desperately to not inconvenience or offend, I began to relapse.  When we got back to the states, I had gained two pounds.  I thought that was pretty good for two weeks of eating whatever I wanted!  But the spell had been broken, and I returned to my old ways, and thus, my old weight.

And now, post two kids, I am heavier than I have ever been.  Some day in the future I might post that number, but not now while it's still reality.  This does not make me miserable.  I don't find my worth in my size, so that's not what is motivating me.  I am motivated by a few basic factors:

1. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your bodies."  I used to think this verse meant don't smoke, don't do drugs, don't have sex if you aren't married - and while I think it does mean those things,  I think it also means you should take care of your body.  Don't abuse it by filling it full of crap and lying around all the time.
2. My size is a direct reflection of my health.  My health is essential, not just for me, but for my husband and children.  I need to stay as healthy as possible.
3. I'd like to look good.  There are lots of outfits and styles I can't wear because of my size.  I'd like to be able to wear them.
4. My dad once told me it was important to look nice in public because the way I looked reflected on my husband.  At the time I blew him off (and took a little offense...what was he saying??) but now I think I understand what he meant.  I would like my physical appearance to reflect well on my husband.  He's smokin' hot.  He deserves a smokin' hot wife.

I'm going to adopt the same plan again for weight loss.  In fact, I don't officially start until Saturday, but I went ahead and got a jump on things and started Tuesday.  I can't believe how easy it's been!  I think part of it is the fact that I simply don't have time to think about food - I'm too busy chasing my kids around.  I don't think about how good a bowl of cereal sounds, or Chinese, or a burger (though I did spring for a veggie burger the other night).

I bought a scale today.  I'll keep you posted. :)

Back to Yard Saling!

I am not quite as devoted to yard saling as I used to be 1) because the city I live in doesn't do a very good job with them and 2) because I like being home with my kids on Saturday morning.  So my recent plan has been to those only nearby and only with good-sounding ads.  Saturday, I was pretty happy with my spoils:

 1. Lots of little girl clothes. These were $1 each, but they were in excellent shape (some even had the tags still on) and Lucy is in desperate need of 9 month clothes.  I went ahead and picked up some 12 months stuff too, because our 7-month old is in 9 months and growing bigger by the minute.  You'd never know that girl was a premie!

 2. Little girl dresses. $2 each.  The front one is SO ADORABLE and will be what Lucy wears to our Fourth of July parade.  The back two were adorable and from the UK (the lady who was having the sale had a cute little British accent, and since I am obsessed with anything British, I probably would have bought these from here even if they weren't adorable.)

3. 4T Winter Coat. This was $2 and in good shape.  I'm putting it in Charlie's 4T winter clothes bin for next year. 

3. 4T shirts and bike helmet. The helmet was my main score here - $2!  We are hoping to get him a bike this summer, and helmets can be expensive!  The shirts were $.50 each and will also go in his 4T bin, though he can probably wear the polo this summer.  Being a tall boy, 4T shirts fit!

 4. Mixing bowl with a spout and Pampered Chef onion-chopper thing. $.10 and $.25, respectively.  I am particularly excited about the chopper!

 5. YELLOW filing crate! In the front of my classroom, I have five crates like this - one for each class I teach.  I color code them - 1st hour is red, 2nd hour is yellow, 3rd hour is green, 4th hour is blue, and 6th hour is purple.  I use these colors for all kinds of things, but the colored crates are to hold their ISNs.  After searching the stores far and wide to find a yellow one for my 2nd hour, I had to go with this:

It irked me that my crates didn't correspond with my color scheme.  The yellow crate above was actually being used to prop up a table and was not for sale, but I explained about my search for a yellow crate, and being kind, good-hearted people, they let me trade them my ugly black one for their beautiful (albeit a little dirty) yellow one.

A great success! TOTAL: About $22.

Fitness Regime: Workouts

I know nothing about workouts.  NOTHING.  I have always been of the mind that if it hurts, it's good.  And since everything hurt, it didn't really matter what I did.  In college I went to the gym every morning for a good stretch.  I would do the treadmill for 20 minutes (fast walking - I don't run), do random weights for ten, and then go home feeling very good about myself...but not like I was making much difference.  So this time around, I need a more directed, specialized approach.

I am not a gym member for several reasons, but the primary one is that it doesn't matter where you go - IT'S TOO EXPENSIVE!  I know I am the cheapest person alive, but I can't bring myself to fork over $39.99 a month to have strangers watching me attempt to exercise.  I'm self-conscious enough by merely exercising.  Let's get real.

So here are some of the ideas I've been tossing around:

1. Planking.  Planking is something I read about over at the Domestic Wannabe.  Basically, you spend a starting amount of time in a plank on Day 1 and build from there.  I've been doing it (off and on) for about two weeks now, though it's more like an if-I-happen-to-remember kind of thing.  I like this because it's quick and it's supposed to work your core without killing your back, though so far it's my arms that are killing me.  I'm only up to a minute, but I can feel myself getting better!
2. Walking.  We live in a beautiful park and I have a lovely (and extremely expensive - though of course I got it used) double-jogger.  I plan to be out walking at least 3-4 days a week.  My children enjoy it and it's quality time with them outdoors AND it's a work out.  Win win.
3. Hot Yoga-ing.  I loved hot yoga when I did it a few months back.  I was really apprehensive but it was SO great and a real work out.  There are multiple classes every day and sign-up is online.  I am really excited about this possibility!
4. 30 Day Shred.  If you haven't heard of the 30 Day Shred, this link is the journal of a woman (who is clearly way fitter than me) who attempted the 30 days, 10 days at each level.  I did this regularly for awhile a few years ago, and I got pretty good at level 1.  I did level 2 a few times, but I never attempted level 3.

The hangups are in the logistics of #s 3 & 4:

1.  Time.  I am thinking the Shred will be perfect for nap time.  The kids will be down for at least an hour and a half (but mine usually sleep about three), and that will be plenty of time to work out and clean up.  As for yoga, my husband just got a new job (YAAAAAAY! More on that later) which effectively nixes my plan to do yoga 3 mornings a week at 6 AM.  He's going to be leaving the house before I can get back home, and since we have two slumbering little ones, we will have to come up with another plan.  I could always go in the evenings, but that has always been our family time together.  My other option is to try to find someone to watch the kids during the day, but that hikes up the
2. Price.  The Shred is free - I bought it used on Amazon for super cheap.  Yoga is pricy - WAY more expensive than a gym membership.  But I like it and will do it.  My husband said we would figure out a way to pay for it, and lo and behold, he got a job!  Price is less of an issue now, and honestly, I'm investing in something with a very valuable return, so I think we are both willing to spend the extra money.
3. My back.  Ever since the birth of my last child, my lower back has been in moderate pain.  I have seen doctors and even received a cortezone (sp? spell check didn't recognize it) shot, but it still hurts.  I am hopeful that exercise will help, not harm.
4. My hatred of exercise.  I seriously hate to work out.  HATE it.
5. My obsession with time management.  I think it's safe to call this an obsession.  I am constantly thinking about how I can save time.  Exercise takes time.  In the summer, I have it, though it seems to fill up pretty quickly.

Right now, my work-in-progress schedule looks like this:

1. Take the Plank-A-Day Challenge.  Roll out of bed first thing in the morning and up my time by 5 seconds a day or so.
2. Do the Shred for all the 30 days of June, even when we go out of town.
3. Try to do yoga 4 times a week in the evenings.
4. Walk with the kids at least 3 days a week.

This will make for a pretty active lifestyle compared to the one I am currently living, but I've started easing into the above schedule, with the goal that it will be in full swing by June 1.

Next up: my diet.

The Job: Part 1

My husband finished degree program number three last year at this time (read about it here and here) and started a fourth with his master's degree in architectural engineering with an emphasis in power structures.  All the while, I have been teaching, he's been working at the church, and God has taken care of every financial need we have encountered (a miracle in itself, because I'm pretty sure there have been times this year when the outflow was more than the inflow).

After the roughest year of our married (or maybe entire?) lives, we found ourselves in bed the other night talking about job openings.  We had gone back and forth about applying for jobs or having him finish his masters, or possibly working more at the church, when Rick found a job listing for a firm in Kansas City.  He really liked this company and they had a reputation for excellence and hiring KU grads.  He updated his resume and applied on Friday night.  To be honest, I didn't think they would call him back.  It was the only place he applied, he didn't have any experience, and this job looked pretty sweet.  I was sure we needed a connection of some sort, and we didn't have one.

On Wednesday of the following week, Rick received an email inviting him to contact their HR department to set up a time to "chat."  Rick called and received a call back the next day.  The lady asked him some questions and told him she was taking his information to her team.  Friday he received an email inviting him to come for an interview at 1:30.

My feelings at this point?  I am surprised it went this far.  He hasn't had an internship or a job, at least, not one in the field.  But I'm starting to hope now, because if you've met my husband, you know how extremely likeable and easygoing he is.  He makes a great first impression, and if they weren't bothered by the lack of experience, I knew the rest would be a piece of cake.

But now we just had to wait for Monday at 1:30.

The Last Day of School

There is much rejoicing at my house because today was the last day of school.  But there is sadness, too, because today, I lost one of my very best friends.  I mean, who wouldn't want to come to work every day and work with this?

Seriously. :)

I started teaching seven years ago.  I was hired in December to finish out the year for a teacher who had been elected to the state legislature.  Lindsey was very pregnant and on my first day she brought in a sonogram picture to our team meeting.  I remember thinking how much I didn't want to be pregnant.  On my second day I tried to throw an empty plastic water bottle in the trash from across the room.  I hit Lindsey square in the forehead.  I apologized and tried to explain that I wasn't an athlete.  She was an athlete and numerous sports all through school.  I wasn't sure we'd ever be friends.

And now, seven years later, I don't know how I'm going to survive next year without her.  She's everything you would look for in a co-worker.  She's the first one I go to when I have a problem with a kid, or am frustrated with a parent, or need someone to bounce ideas off, or just vent.  She is responsible, reliable, and extremely efficient.  She cares about kids and wants to challenge them.  But more than all those things, she is a friend.  And I am going to miss her every day.  She's not quitting entirely - in fact, as everyone keeps (obnoxiously) pointing out, she's only moving across the building to work as a gifted facilitator.  It could be much worse.

Walking out of the building today, driving home, and then arriving to my husband's waiting arms (he's such a good guy and knew just how hard this day was going to be), I cried.  Sobbed.  Tears, shaking shoulders, headache - the works.  I can't imagine my job without her.

But I am happy for her.  I know she will be so great at her new job.  And this will be an excuse to hang out more this summer.

So Lindsey, I wish you the very best.  I have learned so much from you and am excited for you in this new journey.  Please remember to come see me next year!

I Am Not Fat

 I think it's extremely important to make a distinction between the following statements:

1. I am fat

and

2. I have fat

When you say "I am," you are tying what follows to your identity - who you are.  Some may disagree, but I don't believe "fat" is part of anyone's identity.  I have fat.  But it is not what I am.

Here are things I am:

1. I am a child of the Most High God.
2. I am a woman.
3. I am a sister.
4. I am a daughter.
5. I am a wife.
6. I am a mommy.
7. I am a volunteer.
8. I am a friend.
9. I am a teacher.
10. I am a hoot. :)

Here are things I have:

1. I have a short attention span.
2. I have big mouth.
3. I have too much concern for what people think about me.
4. I have issues with taking medications.
5. I have a hard time letting things go.
6. I have family issues.
7. I have back issues.
8. I have money issues.
9. I have some (minor) OCD tendencies that alienate me from normal people.
10. I have fat.

There is no question that the things I have impact the things I am.  My tendency to hold on to hurts affects who I am as a friend.  My OCD tendencies keep me from being the kind of volunteer I would like to be.  The fact that I carry around probably forty extra pounds impacts the way I view myself as a wife and mother.  It probably contributes to my back issues, too.

But the things I have are changeable.  It is within my power to make things different.  These things are not tied to my identity and they are not where my value is found.  I think this is an extremely important distinction, because if the things on the first list do not fulfill me - if I cannot be happy and content with these things, then losing my fat, getting better skin, making money - none of these things will make an ounce of difference.  I want to lose the fat because I want to take better care of myself, be fit, and look good.  But these things are not what make me content.

This is a heart issue.  My identity is in who I am, not what I have.

Fitness Regime: It's Time

I originally titled this post "Weight Loss Regime."  I changed it to "Fitness Regime."  Don't get me wrong - I need to lose weight, and it is 60% of the force driving me.  But the other 40% is a genuine desire to be fit.  I don't know if I've ever been fit.  Not having been an athlete in school (or really any point in my life - even when I was playing sports as a kid, it was obvious I wasn't an "athlete") and having genetics against me, I have always been a pretty thick girl.  When I got married, I was 156 lbs.  As I'm 5'8" it was relatively respectable.

Please note that the bee-hive hair-do, while not my favorite now, did serve a purpose beyond a mere hairdo.  My husband is 6'6" - nearly a foot taller than me - and between the hair and the heels, the height difference was effectively de-emphasized.  And oh how I love that dress.

But at the time I remember thinking, "I need to lose ten pounds!"  But I didn't.  Instead I gained 10 pounds.  And then put on another five.  Near the end of college I got it into my head to do a vegan diet along with a friend and try to lose some weight that way.  It worked!  I went down to 147 and fit into a size 8 (I have always been a double-digits person).  Then we went to Africa - an AMAZING trip - but I went in a group and couldn't control what we were eating.  When I came back, I was 149.  Not too shabby for eating all sorts of dairy, meat, BREADS, and sweet stuff.  I fell off the wagon and when I came back up, I was back to where I started.  But my life was so busy - by then I had my first job, we had moved to Lawrence - I didn't have the time or drive to make anything happen.

And then I got pregnant.  While I was pregnant, I approached, hit, and exceeded a VERY scary number.  After I was un-pregnant, I knew I needed to lose weight, but to be honest, I knew I was going to get pregnant again relatively soon, and the idea of working my butt off for results and then putting everything right back on sounded terrible.  So I decided to wait until we were done having kids.

Welp, we're done having kids.  The time is now.

The Last Week of School

 This is the last week of school.  And if I am truly honest, this is the WORST year I have ever had.  I suppose it's no surprise, given that I missed three months of crucial expectation-setting time at the beginning of the school year with some of the worst behavior problems I've ever had.  Given that I lost a long-time team member to stupid Seaman.  Given that I have two high-maintenance kiddos that make work from home impossible.  Given that I have had several parents down my throat about my expectations.  Given that one of our kids was brutally injured in a car accident.  Given that my very best friend at work announced that she is leaving me.

But this year has also been full of blessings.  I had a beautiful daughter.  I got to miss out on three months with these yahoos.  (And when I say these yahoos, I really mean only a handful of kids.  Most of them are great, and several of them are exceptionally great.)  I got a new team member.  My children are in wonderful, exciting stages in their lives.  I have many parents who are behind what I do with their children and tell me so.  A network of support for our injured student has risen up from the school and local community.  And my best friend is going on to do something else that she really wants to do in my building, so I will still see her occasionally.

But boy, am I ready for summer vaycay!!!!

Deal-Breakers: Marriage

Last weekend we had a church event and I ended up at a table with an old friend (old like we went to preschool together).  She was there with her husband.  I hadn't really gotten to talk to her since before her wedding a few years ago.  Somehow we got on the subject of pets, and she cast her husband a meaning-filled dirty look.  Then she looked at me and said something like, "I love him, but he once killed a cat.  I found out about it before our wedding and it was almost a deal-breaker."  And then the two of them launched into (conflicting) accounts of what happened.  Because they were conflicting, I'm not sure what actually went down, but the gist was that he was working maintenance at a summer camp and part of his job was to keep pests out of the compound.  Apparently, there was a stray cat who kept moseying in.  So he killed it.  It was part of his job.  (It should be noted that he is a middle school science teacher.  Knowing many myself, I know that science teachers understand the circle of life and just aren't that worked up in general about animal deaths.  Ours keep dead animals in the freezer to feed to their class pets.  You know.)  She was horrified.  According to her it nearly caused them to break up.  (For the record, I think the world is probably better off with one less cat.  Just saying.)

This conversation has been on my mind since then 1) because it was funny and 2) because it reminded me of how marriage is a meshing of all your lives, not just from the moment of marriage on, or even the moment you met on.  You marry that person's past, family, likes and dislikes - everything about them.  And working through them is all about love and grace.  (*It should be noted that I struggle with this part.  Love and grace is rarely never my first reaction.  But I'm working on it.)

We are beyond blessed for many reasons, but one of them is that we entered marriage with very little baggage.  We started dating when I was fifteen.  We were each other's first and only, and thankfully, we were smart, mature, responsible teenage kids.  We did not go out and party.  We did not have sex.  We did not make ridiculous financial decisions that had us in negative numbers from the start.  Our baggage has been small things, like adjusting to different family practices, for instance.  My family is always the first to leave.  We like to get home early and get to bed early.  His family is one of the last to leave.  They like to be there until the party shuts down.  As a result, I am always wanting to leave early and he is always wanting to stay late.  (Kids cured that, though! Now we always leave early!)  My family regularly discusses life goals, spirituality, struggles, and we often shed tears in front of the other.  My husband did not grow up like this and I think it still weirds him out a little when it happens.  But he has the love and grace thing down.  He understand that this is how we relate to and support each other, and while it isn't his thing, he loves and affirms us anyway.

We have nothing like a friend of mine who married a man with a (crazy) ex-wife and two kids.  Or another friend whose husband had so much debt when they got married that now, eight years later, they are still struggling to pay it off, and every financial decision they make has to be viewed through the lens of those bad financial choices.  I admire these women greatly for their abilities to extend love and grace and absorb these problems into their marriage as problems, not road-blocks or "deal-breakers."

But I am thankful that God didn't call me to do it. :)

Mother's Day

Dear Mom,

(Sorry this post is late.)  There is no way I could ever put into words the gratitude I have for all you have done for me for the last 30 years.  (I am including pregnancy in this number, so even though I'm not 30, I know pregnancy counts.)  So instead, I'm just going to tackle ages birth-3, since that's what I'm dealing with right now.

1. Thank you for being pregnant with me. Your pregnancies were not the pieces-of-cake mine were in terms of how you felt.  Thanks for vomiting, not sleeping, eating raw potatoes, and bed-rest.
2. Thank you for giving birth to me. While my C-sections were easy, yours were rough.  Thanks for not risking danger to me by giving vaginal birth in my breech state.
3. Thank you for taking such good care of me, even with all your post-partum depression issues. Taking care of my children is sometimes enough in itself to make me depressed.  Thanks for pushing through.
4. Thanks for waking up in the middle of the night with me and not throwing me against the wall.  I know that when I was completely dead on my feet and had to get up with my babies, there were moments when I was so frustrated that I almost wanted to throw that kid against the wall to get him to SHUT UP!  But I didn't, and neither did you.  Thanks for rocking me back to sleep.
5. Thank you for changing my dirty diapers.  They are disgusting, and the older the kid gets, the grosser they become.  Thanks for taking care of that.
6. Thank you for disciplining me.  This one is huge.  I had no idea how much energy, work, and staying power it takes to discipline a child and to be consistent about it.  I like to think that my child is much more strong-willed than yours was, but somehow I think that's not true.  Thanks for sticking to your guns and not letting me have my way (ever).
7. Thank you for working while I was small.  I know you felt guilt about this - I do, and I'm sure every mom does in some measure.  But I am grateful for the work you knew you had to do for our family.
8. Thank you for putting me in daycare and preschool.  I am so glad I had social interactions with other children, even at that age.  I admire moms who stay home with their kids, but I want my child to learn at a young age how to get along with others.  He will have to do it his entire life and the earlier he starts the better.  Thanks for doing this for me.
9. Thank you for teaching me scripture.  Research supports the idea that things that go into the minds of young children can stick their entire lives.  Thank you for making sure that what went into my mind was something living and enduring.
10. Thank you for loving me.  I know I must have been hard to love at times, but thank you for giving me such a secure, loving environment in which to grow up.

There are more, but I have to stop and go to work.  I love you dearly, Mom, and am so thankful that my children get to see you so often.  You are such a help and support to us and there is nothing we could ever do to pay it back.

Oh, and happy birthday!

Why I Loved My C-Sections

 I visited my cousin in the hospital last night.  Her baby had been born the day before and been taken by C-section.  My cousin was slightly disappointed, but we were talking about all the pluses of C-setions, and there are many! Though I happen to know this is not what you hear from most women:

"I hope I have a C-section.  That would be nice."

But that was totally me.  I don't know if it's because my mom had C-sections, or because God was preparing me in this weird way for mine or what, but when the doctor told me my baby boy was breech, I got a little excited.  When she mentioned C-section, I got a lot excited.

Why?

• It's planned. I am a planner, and by nature, I don't like surprises.  I like plans.  Ask my husband.  He knows better than to spring things on me, even if they are good things.  Also, I teach middle school and one of my ultimate fears was that my water would break at school in front of my kids and they (particularly my boys) would be grossed out and scarred for life.  I know it seems like a small thing, but it was a legitimate thing I that obsessed about slightly.
• It's quick. Labor can last a long stinking time.  I can honestly say I was never afraid of the pain (seriously - I have a pretty high pain tolerance and I am proud of it!), just the length of discomfort.

And my C-sections - both of them - were wonderful.  WONDERFUL, I tell you!  And, having had two, I can tell you there are lots of perks besides just the two above:

• The doctor is there the whole time. My doctor walked me into the room, helped me get my spinal, and saw me through the entire thing.  When my sister-in-law had her baby, the doctor didn't even come in until the last second.  With a C-section, they are there the whole time, and not only one, but two!
• It doesn't feel like a C-section. I was pretty nervous about being buck-naked (that's the correct expression, right?  I've heard butt-naked, but I think it was from a kid who didn't know better) in front of all those people.  But once the medicine takes effect (quickly), it feels like there's a heavy blanket on you, so you really forget that you are showing your wares off to what feels like the entire hospital staff!
• Baby is PERFECT! He hasn't been shoved through a vagina so his head is perfectly round and beautiful.  He also hasn't been through the trauma of birth.  The nurses in the hospital explained that C-section babies are often much calmer babies and much better sleepers than vaginal-birth babies.  Both of mine are calm and great sleepers, so I guess it's true!
• The recovery isn't that bad. I know not everyone has the same experiences, but for me, things went just right and I was up walking around that night with both.  I know that's not normal because all the nurses kept commenting on how people aren't usually up until the next day, but it's what happened for me.  They sent me home with pain meds, but I didn't take them much past the first few days.
• The scar is small.  A friend of mine once told me she was afraid of having this big enormous scar across her belly.  I explained that 1) it's not across your belly - it's VERY low, and 2) by the time your stomach has shrunk back down, the scar is only a few inches long.
• You aren't all...stretched out down there.  You get my drift, right?

I have found only two notably bad things about C-sections:

• Itching.  My face itched SO BAD for the first 12 hours or so after the procedure.  It was almost unbearable.  My mom thought of a wet washcloth to rub on my face so I didn't scratch it off, but man alive! It was bad. I have heard that this is a byproduct of the anesthesia, so whether you give birth vaginally or not, it happens.
• People think that what you did is somehow less significant than what they did.  I remember being with some friends and talking about giving birth.  One of my friends who had given birth vaginally said, "Only you didn't give birth."  I was a bit taken aback and said, "Yes, I did."  "No," she continued. "It's not the same thing.  Pushing a baby out of you is totally different."  This really hurt my feelings.  I like to think she didn't mean it that way, but it made me feel excluded and like what I had done wasn't as special.  I know in my head that this is not true, but there is an air of superiority around vaginal births that can make us C-section moms feel like we are not up to par.  But the truth is that we both were participants in the miracle of birth, regardless of how it happened.

I know that this is not true for every woman.  I have heard of many women (my mother included) who have horror stories to tell about the surgery going bad, or recovery keeping them down for weeks, or what have you.  I am thankful that that was not my experience.  My experience was grand. :)

Menu - TWO Weeks 'Til Summer!

Sorry if this is getting monotonous, but I can't help the countdown...two more weeks!

Last week's menu didn't really happen.  I made one of the meals I had planned and we ate leftovers and at mom and dad's for the other nights.  It was my husband's week-before-finals week, so we had a lot going on.

Good news is I have THIS week's menu basically planned already!

• Tacos - This meal is a staple...but it's starting to get a little old.  I found this recipe today, which looks like it will add a little spice to the taco!  I'm out of wontons though so I'll just use tortilla shells.
• Bierocks - didn't make last week so we'll do these this week.
• Chicken Enchiladas - also a staple, quick and easy.
• Grilled Cheese & Ravioli - this will be our quick-night meal.

The one meal I did make last week was this:

Crab Rangoon - I have never made these, but I made eggrolls last week and have some wrappers left over.  I'd like to try them with this chicken fried rice recipe, too.

BOTH were so delicious and much easier than I had expected.  They are definitely going in the repeat box!

Finals...Ugh.

I distinctly remember taking my last final of finals week in college and thinking "I'm done with this week forever! I never have to take another final again!"

Turns out finals week wasn't done with me.  For the last six years, my husband has been in a rigorous engineering undergrad and graduate program.  I don't understand why people become engineers.  It is SO MUCH WORK!  My husband isn't around much to start due to his workload, but this week (Stop week, the week before finals, the week everything is due) and next week are really rough.  He's not here, which means I am in charge of everything - picking up kids, bathing kids, feeding kids, getting kids to bed, getting kids out of bed, laundry, cooking, cleaning - all by myself.  This combined with the fact that this is one of the roughest times of year at MY job, and the fact that our daycare has been unavailable lately, has made this one super stressful week.  My house is a wreck.  I'm pretty sure there's a load in the washer from the weekend.  That's right.

But yesterday I came home to a clean house.  I walked out and walked in again, certain I was seeing things.  Nope.  I immediately called my husband, who hadn't even come home the night before until 4 AM.  He said he ran home after class to shower and change and just took about a half hour to pick up around the house.  He needed a change of tasks, so he just took care of it.  He also said the Internet was out at the church (where he'd been studying) so he was coming home!  Yay! We had about an hour together as a family and ate a home cooked meal before he hit the books again.   It was the refresher I needed.

He is done in 5 days.  I am done in 12.  We can do this.

Favorite Movies: Sabrina

It's almost summer.  I am spending a lot of time thinking about what I want to do this summer, and one of them is rewatch my favorite movies.  I will be posting about them in preparation.

Movie #1:

Sabrina

Stars: Julia Ormond, Greg Kinnear, and (one of my top five favorite actors of all time) Harrison Ford

Basic Info:

• 1995, PG
• Story of the daughter of the chauffeur of a wealthy family who falls in love with the younger, wilder son who barely knows she exists.  The older, more responsible son takes matters into his own hands but comes up short...or so he thinks.
• Remake of the 1954 film starring Audrey Hepburn

First saw it when I was: 13 or so

Favorite Quotes:

"It's the 90s, Sabrina."

"Talk about my accomplishments, my qualities.  You can be creative. Lie, okay??"

"He's not going to sue his own mother - he's not me."

"Did the dry cleaner's have your car?"

Memories associated with it:

• I watched it once with my sister-in-law and she didn't crack a smile once.  I know we don't have the same taste in movies, but come on!
• I think I've watched it with my BFF Kristin at least half a dozen times.  It's. So. Funny.

The Holiness Gap

I am excited for the day when my first response is faith, not panic.

We are not rich people.  I am a full-time teacher married to a full-time student and part-time worship leader.  We do our best to save, spend only what we need, and be good stewards of our resources.  And with nearly three months unpaid leave due to the premature birth of our daughter, we were on the short side to start.

In the last month, we have incurred the following unexpected expenses:

Again, all unexpected.  We thought my insurance coverage had taken care of Lucy's deductible.  Charlie broke his glasses and his prescription is so high that to get them in the scratch-resistant (which we absolutely MUST do unless we want to replace them every other week), we had to pay an arm and a leg.  My car wouldn't start yesterday.  And Charlie had a RIDICULOUS allergic reaction and needs an eye drop that costs $120 AFTER insurance.  Yikes.

As you might imagine, I am beyond stressed, trying to figure out how to move money around to cover these expenses after we just got our financial feet back under us from the last onslaught.  I called my mom whose first response was "How exciting."  No sarcasm, no jokes.  She means it.

This may seem a strange response, but I fully expected it.  My mom is excited because it's an opportunity to see God work.  I don't have an easy earthly solution to this problem, but God does, and since He promises to never leave or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6), I can trust that He is going to work this out.

I know this.  I believe it in my head, but there are fifteen inches between my head and my heart.  My dad calls this "the holiness gap" - the gap between what I know to be true and what I "faith" to be true.  I have struggled with conquering the holiness gap my entire life.  But my mom?  She's got it down.  In fact, not only does she have faith, she anticipates situations like this with excitement because she knows she's about to see God work.

Oh to have faith like this.  You'd think that 25 years of following Jesus would produce it, but I am still ridden with fear and anxiety when situations like this crop up.

Me of little faith.

If I were trying to teach my students a lesson like this, I would create opportunity after opportunity until they finally learned to put the skill into practice.  I suppose that's what God is doing, too.

So here's to shrinking the holiness gap.  I'm sure I won't get it down this time, or the next time, or maybe even the time after that.  But I'm going to give it my best shot.

*Note: As you might imagine, my parents are amazing people from which to learn life.  I am beyond blessed to have been able to witness their examples in faith, family, love, service - all of it.  I want to be just like them.

Why I Love PPP

My favorite money-saving site is Passionate Penny Pincher.  I. Heart. Her.

She's my favorite because:

• She posts easy, delicious recipes - some of my family's very favorite recipes come from her site, and nearly all of my slow cooker ones!
• Her posts are brief and to the point - it's easy to flip through quickly and find what I want
• She emphasizes the importance of giving - LOVE this!  Half of the proceeds from her site go to support missionaries.  How cool is that???
• She posts 5-minute challenges - I don't have time to clean my entire house every week, but I do have five minutes to clean all the mirrors on my first floor, or grab a grocery sack, set a timer for five minutes, and rid my house of as many things as I possibly can.  I love this, and I can do it even though I'm not a stay-at-home mom!
• She sends her kids to SCHOOL!!!!! - it seems like most sites like this are run by home-schooling moms. As a public school educator and a Christ-following mother who is passionate about sending her kids to public school, I truly love this!

The ONLY negative is that she's in Alabama, which means many of the deals she posts are for stores we don't have here.  She often makes me want to move to Alabama, or at least make the trip to attend one of her couponing classes! :)

If you have not checked her out, you should!

*Note - I contacted her to ask permission to write this post and use an image from her site.  She asked for the URL to my blog and then she invited me to write a guest post for her later this month!  I nearly had a conniption!  I am so excited!  Details to come :) 

Menu Plan - THREE Weeks 'Til Summer!

Three more weeks.  Two for the husband. We can do this.

Last week's menu worked out exactly as I planned (how often does that happen?) but I was a little disappointed in the Slow Cooked Pot Roast.  I used my programmable crock pot, so it had to sit, not cooking, for several hours, and even though it was set to "warm," it was pretty dry by the time we were ready to eat. :(  Oh well - the quesadillas with the leftover meat were delicious!

• Tacos - we have a taco lunch at school this week, so I'm planning to brown up four pounds of beef and season three of them with taco seasoning.  We'll eat one at home, I'll take two to school, and the pound of unseasoned meat will be used for:
• Bierocks - coleslaw is on sale at HyVee this week for $.88! Perfect!
• Crab Rangoon - I have never made these, but I made eggrolls last week and have some wrappers left over.  I'd like to try them with this chicken fried rice recipe, too.
• Grilled Cheese & Ravioli - this will be our quick-night meal.

I need some staples - bread, fruit, cereal, etc - but most of what I'll be using this week, I already have, with the exception of mixed veggies for the fried rice, imitation crab meat, ground ginger, and green onion.  And, since it's nearing the end of the school year, we are having a team gathering this evening, and I am making Kansas Dirt Dessert using the family recipe from the family cookbook. Every time someone gets married, my aunts give them a copy of the family cookbook they compiled way back when.  Love it:

I like to add gummy worms :)

The Happy Dance

There are lots of times when being a teacher, well, sucks.  The hours are long, kids have attitudes, parents jump down your throat for holding their kid accountable, you receive 30 emails before lunch which you don't get to until after lunch only to discover that two of them were time-sensitive and the kid has already left your room - the list goes on.  And this is the time of year teachers feel it the most because even though we can see the finish line, we still have Four. More. Weeks.

But last night, my son spotted this box on my desk:

He dropped everything he was doing and said "Oooo, Mommy, is this a treasure box?" (I wish you could have heard him - he is the most expressive 3-year-old I have ever seen.  "Oooo" and "Mommy" were very high, and so was "treasure box?")  I giggled.  I suppose it is a treasure box of a sort.  It's my "Feel Good" box.  My dad started my brother and me in the habit of keeping things that make us feel good - things like notes, emails, letters - and then, on a bad day, we can pull them out and look at them.  As you can see, I modge podged (sp?) it to try to do away with the boring wood look.  Clearly it caught my son's attention.

"May I open the treasure box?" he so sweetly asked.

Sure.  So we got it down and opened it.  I haven't opened it for several years, and in it, I found a letter from my senior World Lit teacher in high school.  I nominated her for a Teacher of the Year-type award, and she won.  I knew she would win.  I knew if I could write a good enough letter of recommendation that she would win, and I knew I could because she taught me to write.  The letter was a thank you, and as I read it, I remembered why I teach.  Here's an excerpt:

"Teaching is a passion that seeps into a person's blood. Once it is there, each day becomes a new adventure with new ideas; 'wonder what the kids will think about...; wow, that concept never occurred to me.' The grand reward comes from a constant well spring of new perspectives - fresh thoughts from fresh minds. Of course, the challenge is to give each fresh mind the motivation to think - to think independently and deeply. That is when the teacher's heart skips a beat and then races through the proverbial happy dance."

Oh, how I love Mrs. B.  She is one of the reasons I am a teacher today, and it is so perfect that my son wanted to open this box last night.  I am still a teacher.  There are still four weeks of school left.  There are still 122 minds, hearts, and souls in my room for 46 minutes a day.

There is still time for the happy dance.