Get Fit Lesson 1: Identity

I touched on this before I started my weight loss regime.  It is even more true now.

We live in a world of things.  Our value, worth, whatever you want to call it, is determined by our stuff and things.  I remember being young and hating that my shoes came from Walmart when my friends bought their shoes at the mall.  I remember feeling ashamed that I drove the family van while my friends drove their own cars.  I remember feeling like a failure when I didn't make state choir my senior year - the ONE thing I was good at.  I remember not buying the nice car when Rick and I bought our first car together.  I remember being the biggest girl in the bridal party and wishing to God my size was a singe-digit.

I was behaving as though my value was in what I had.  If I find my identity in what I have, I should expect my happiness to be fleeting.  It will only last as long as the shoes, as long as the car, as long as the feeling.  It's like the seed that falls on rocky soil, sprouting briefly and then dying.  Where are the roots of my happiness?

Throughout this process of losing weight, I have tried to keep myself from drawing my happiness from it.  Sure, I am thrilled when people tell me how nice I look, ecstatic when I fit into a size smaller than what I'm used to, and overjoyed at the fact that I am able to go up and down the stairs, run down the hall, or even the street, and not breathe heavier or break a sweat.  But it is not where I find my identity.  It's like money.  Money is here one day and gone the next.  Fashion.  Status.  Appearance.  Things.  They are all the same.  As soon as we begin to tie our identity to these temporary things, we begin to lose sight of what really matters.

What really matters?  My God.  My husband.  My children.  My service.  It is in these things that I find the source of myself.  I can't pat myself on the back or toot my horn about my small(er) waistline, or my job, or my house, or any of that.  Because when it all comes down to it, these are things, and things that I will eventually lose, through one process or another.  Why would I tie my identity to things that are so fleeting?

So, lesson 1 (which was actually more confirmed than learned):  I find my worth in who I am, not what I have.

Blogtemtober: Describe a Moment When Your Life Took a Turn

It was July 1, 2003.  I had taken the day off work so I could go with my boyfriend to Kansas City for the day.  But wouldn't you know, I got my stupid period and ended up being quite uncomfortable, so we came back to town and I took a nap.  Several hours later, Rick slipped in quietly, woke me up, and asked me if I wanted to be his wife.  He had a grandiose plan to propose on the 4th with fireworks, but the jewelers had called him on the way back from Kansas City to tell him the ring was ready, and he couldn't wait.

We were 19 and had no idea what we were getting ourselves into.  All we knew was that we loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.

We knew enough.

Kindle Book: The One You Love

  The One You Love

by Paul Pilkington

Length: 297 pages

Format: Kindle book
Price: FREE!

Author Website: http://paulpilkington.com/

Basic Premise: When Emma Holden goes out with girlfriends to her "hen" party (bachelorette party, as we in the States would all it), she has no idea that her fiance Dan has gone missing and his brother has been brutally beaten and left for dead.  Dan becomes the primary suspect in the case, but as the mystery unfolds, Emma begins to look like the next target.

My Take: 7 out of 10 (scale here)

This was a fast read, and I really needed a fast read.  The last several books I've managed to finish have been yawners.  This one I read in less than a week, which is really saying something considering the schedule I've been keeping.  I (obviously) loved the fact that it took place in London, and that it was full of phrases like "hen party" (or the "stag party," which is the bachelor party), "catching the tube," turning on the "telly," packing the "boot" of the car, and throwing things in the "rubbish bin."  How charming :)  I liked Emma, and while I often felt like she was (to borrow a British phrase) "being a bit thick," she was pretty believable.  The plot was not overly complicated - indeed, it was a bit predictable, but I like a bit of predictability.  It makes me feel smart.  There's a sequel out, and I'm interested in reading it, as this book ended on a bit of a cliffhanger, but it costs, and I don't think it was good enough to spend fun money on, so for now, I'm going to stick with the free stuff.

From My Brother

When Charlie was born, a friend of mine had family members write him letters and then arranged them in a book.  Because Lucy's birth was such a whirlwind, we did not do this for Lucy, so for her 1st birthday, I asked for them for her 1st birthday (which is in less than two weeks!).  My brother's is amazing.  So much heart and depth - I had to share.

 

Lucy,

When Emma, your cousin, was born, I suddenly had a little ball of life I was charged with protecting.  I was instantly given the responsibility to assist her in growing up in this world. The main issue I was immediately faced with was, ‘How could I teach her that hard work separates winning from losing when I’ve leisurely procrastinated my way through life?’  That’s not to say that I’ve ‘won’ at life, but hypocrites don’t make good superheroes, and that’s what parents are supposed to be…superheroes.

I’ve thought long and hard about all the things I need to teach her. This is nowhere near the whole list, but I do feel these things are important. I hope that you can take something from what I hope to teach her.

Happiness This is probably the most cliché virtue on the list, but it’s extremely important. ‘Success’ is really more of a journey than an ‘x’ on a map. You can’t really be taught happiness, per se, but you can learn perspective and look at your day to day life as unique. Emma will not have a perfect life, and she won’t get everything she wants all the time. However, it is important she realizes that the things she is accustomed to are not everyone’s reality. Your Pepa and Gigi will tell you they wished I had learned this long ago. I was constantly reaching for a happiness that would never be achieved unless my perspective and understanding of what defined happiness was altered. This leads me to the next thing I need Emma to understand.

The value of a dollar Pepa may disagree, but we weren’t poor growing up. We had everything we needed when we needed it.  Again, my perspective at the time was different. I was more worried about not getting the things I wanted instead of getting the things I needed.  I’ll be honest with you, I did get a lot of the things I wanted, but it was never enough (this goes back to ‘perspective’-  please understand this before I did).  So how did I learn the value of a dollar? I think I learned it a long time ago, but I never really rationally understood it until about halfway through college. I learned it by paying my own cell phone bill, doing chores and working extra for the extra things I wanted. The rational, real-life application didn’t really hit me until I also had to pay for the things I ‘needed’. This is why I worked 70-80 hours a week through most of college. I still felt I needed to have enough money to buy everything I needed plus everything I wanted. Don’t make the same mistake I did. Learn the difference between want and need. Looking back, the best times growing up where when we watched Home Improvement together as a family or when your mom and I recorded a fake Olympic figure skating commentary. Things like that, things that have nothing to do with money.

Know your ‘why’ At work, I analyze business propositions and write about them. Any time anyone comes up to me with any kind of idea, I always ask them "Why?" It seems simple, but it's actually an intricate question. Nine times out of ten, if someone's why is to make money, they'll fail at what they are trying to do. Here's why I believe this: the "successful" deals I look at include people who are self-vindicated. They don't need pats on the back. They don't need compliments. The merit of their work is endorsed by what they see in the mirror. They drive themselves until they are satisfied. People who are monetarily motivated often tire of their occupations and eventually lose focus. But if you are in love with what you do day in and day out, it's not work. Every day you're adding a piece of joy to your ethos.Your mother is a great example of this, so is your Pepa. To them, it’s not work. I’m continuously searching for my why. For me, work is a means to an end. So find your passion, and fall in love with your why.

 

Kindness This is very important. Negative energy sucks the life out of people. You must treat people kindly. No one is any better than you are and you are no better than anyone else. Maybe the biggest thing I learned in grad school was how to deal with stupid people. It always goes back to kindness. We are all doing the best we can to figure out this thing we call life, so humble yourself to the fact that you know very little. I'm no different. I know very little, but I do my best to learn. I've learned things from my father (a highly educated man) and watching a child who can’t even walk yet. Treat everyone with kindness. It goes a long way. I was taught that people will rarely remember what you tell them, but they will always remember how you made them feel.

Men and her worth (loads shotgun) A sore subject for any man with a daughter. I will teach Emma that she is a young goddess. Help her understand her worth. Let her know that she must hold every man accountable for who they are and how they act towards her. There will be a day when I give her away. They say that a woman spends her life looking for her father in her groom, so until that day I will try to be the example of a man that she eventually will seek out. Men tend to be motivated by one thing. Don't fall victim to a prince charming. If he cares for her, he'll act accordingly. If not (aims shotgun), well, I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

God is Love Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Lately, I’ve ridden this verse to the moon and back, and it hasn’t failed me yet. As you move through life, don’t’ be scared. You will make mistakes. You will make many mistakes, but God loves you and has a plan for you. Never forget that. Think about it every day.

I hope you can read these things and apply them to your life. You have been blessed with an amazing family. It’s a family that cares more than any family I’ve ever been around. It’s a family that will stop at nothing to help you succeed.  You’re mother and father are amazing people, as are your grandparents. Your aunt Molly and I love you very much and will always be here if you need us.

Love, Uncle Alex

Blogtemtober: Take This Personality Test

I took this personality test.  It's the same now as it was when I took it 5 years ago, which was the same as when I took it in high school:

I love how my feeling and thinking are so close, but I always struggle with the last one.  I would love to be able to answer the question: "You value justice over mercy" with a resounding NO! But the truth is, I have a strong sense of justice that often trumps my ability to sympathize.  I would be a very harsh jury member, should I ever be assigned jury duty and actually called upon to participate.  It's one of my flaws.

Blogtemtober: A Story about a Time When I Was Very Afraid

I've written about fear before bur this prompt asks for specifics.  There are two, and both involve my children.  There is something about your children that catapult your fear to an unimaginable pitch.

The first is articulated below in a blog post from September 1, 2009:

At our last doctor's appointment, the doctor told us our baby had a rare condition in which the umbilical cord, usually comprised of three vessels, was missing a vessel and therefore only contained two. This condition can mean lots of things (premature birth, cardiac problems, chromosomal abnormalities, death, etc.), so we were pretty freaked out. This condition affects around 1-2% of pregnancies, and of these, 75% are born with no problems. The doctor recommended we go see a specialist in Kansas City who would do a level 2 ultrasound and check the major organs to be sure everything was functioning normally. She said we'd probably be seeing him once a month and her, our regular doctor, once a month, so an appointment every two weeks and sonograms at least once a month. Needless to say, we were pretty freaked when we headed to Kansas City today. We prayed that God would help us handle whatever came next, but mostly that he would keep Charlie safe.

I wrote this carefully, going to great lengths to keep my voice cool, and as if I had it together, but the truth was that I was terrified.  I remember bawling at school when I got the phone call, crying the whole way home, and lying on my bed sobbing uncontrollably for probably a solid 30 minutes before I started to get a grip.  I was so very afraid.  As it turned out, everything was perfect - the sonographer had simply missed the cord in the first sonogram.

The second was here.

Both my children are perfect now, but I so remember the feeling of terror and utter helplessness.

Kindle Book: Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

  Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

by Ransom Riggs

Length: 384 pages

Format: Kindle book
Price: $6.26

Author Website: http://www.ransomriggs.com/

Basic Premise: Jacob has always known his grandfather was strange. But when his sudden death is surrounded by bizarre circumstances of which Jake seems to be the only one aware, he sets off to find out who - or what - really killed his grandfather.

My Take: 3 out of 10 (scale here)

Not my favorite.  Not even close.  I have a few beefs with this book, one of which was the protagonist.  He's what old people think young people are - irresponsible, careless, and unconcerned about the impact his actions have on others.  To be fair, he learns, grows, and matures throughout the novel, but his actions in the beginning put a bad taste in my mouth that was hard to overcome.  I also didn't "buy in."  Obviously, when you are dealing with fantasy (and this novel must be classified as such, though certainly not your typical fantasy), the audience is required to suspend their disbelief long enough to buy into that which is fantastical.  I missed that boat.  It all felt just a little too...fake for me.  Also - this is one of those obnoxious books where you think it's going to end like, four times and it doesn't.  It just keeps GOING AND GOING.  And then, it ends unexpectedly.  What the heck??

I read it, I finished it, and I may even recommend it to a kid or two, but I won't be rereading or reading the sequel, if there is one.  I see that Tim Burton is rumored to be directing a 2015 film release, which sounds quite fitting.

Tips for MASSIVE Freezer Cooking

When Lucy was born, my dear, dear friend Melissa did the most amazing thing for us.  She cooked, like, a gazillion meals for us, froze them, and sent them up to us (she lives two hours away).

Twice.

It was the. best. thing. ever.

Now in terms of domesticity, Melissa is Michael Jordan and I am the kid across the street who can't hit the broad side of a barn.  She is Jimi Hendrix and I am the 7th grade guitar class at school.  She is Adelle and I am a screeching cat.  But Rick's sister is having a baby, and I thought this was a good idea...

Tip #1: Having Meals in the Freezer is the Best Thing Ever
I think I already said this, and it's not really a "tip," but it bears repeating. I learned this when Melissa brought the meals while I was on bed rest.  (NOT something I recommend, btw.)  It was amazing to just be able to pull something out of the freezer, let it thaw, and throw it in the oven!

Tip #2: Take it Slow
My original plans were a bit more grandiose, but real life and a growing understanding of what I could actually accomplish, given my lacking skill level, full-time job, two children, fitness schedule, and cooking for my own family, brought me swiftly back to Earth.  Thankfully, we have 1/4 of a cow in our freezer, and thanks to one of the freezers going out and me spending four hours cooking 60 lbs of ground beef, that part was already done.  I spent about three sessions of five-hour stretches in the kitchen, and then bits and pieces here and there.  Between cooking and organizing the guidebook (which was actually my favorite part of the entire process), I probably spent a good 24 hours on this over the last month!

Tip #3: Have a Plan
Here is my menu:

I kept a Google spreadsheet of what meals required what ingredients, what ingredients I had and which ones I still needed to get, etc.  Obviously, the plan changed, but that was okay.

Tip #4: Have Partners
My husband was a rock star while I was doing this.  He took the kids across the street to the park, or just kept them out of the kitchen, sometimes for hours on end.  And my mom was awesome because she offered to pay for all the disposable bake ware, which is a necessity when you are freezer-cooking for someone else!

Tip #5: Break the Cooking into Segments
I did this in shifts, and invariably, the shift that I thought would be two hours ended up being five.  Plan for that.

Tip #6: Try to Cook HEALTHY Stuff
Now that I have spent 15 weeks eating plant-based whole foods, it's hard for me to go back to thinking about preparing white flour, processed foods.  I purchased a few ingredients I hadn't purchased in probably 6 months (like Velveeta, for instance), and to be honest, I had a little internal battle as I was preparing these things.  If I don't want to be eating these, should I be making them for someone else?  Melissa's meals were all super healthy - shouldn't mine be, too?  So I compromised.  Rick's sister is not a fan of veggies, but I made three dishs (meatballs, sloppy joes, and "mashed potatoes"), that have "sneaky" veggies.  I'm particularly proud of the "mashed potatoes" because I didn't have a recipe and they turned out SO GREAT!  I'll share the recipes at another time.

Tip #7: Think about Convenience
Do things that are going to be easy.  Almost all of these meals can be thawed in the fridge overnight and tossed in the oven 30 minutes before go-time.  You don't want meals where you have to do a lot of prep.


Tip #8: Use everydayhomecook.com for Pretty Much Everything
Allow me to GUSH for a moment.  This is a MUST on your list of food blogs.  It's run by a friend of mine (who I absolutely adore) and it's awesome.  This is hands down my favorite cooking site.  It's so easy, everything is step-by-step, and the food is DELICIOUS every time.  I used her refrigerator dough, bierocks, monkey bread, bread sticks, cookies, and taco seasoning all directly, but then I used variations of several recipes as well.  GREAT resource.

Tip #9: Have a Guidebook
This was really for my own sanity, but I know how helpful it is to have a guide because Melissa made up great instructions for us.  I used Google Docs (PS Kallie, if you are reading this, Luckiest Guy is my new favorite font!) and generated a Meal Plan (above) and a Table of Contents:

an inventory sheet so she knows how much she has and where it should be:

and a page for each dish explaining what goes with it, how to prepare it, and the recipe, in case she ever wants to make it herself:

(As I said, I'm really most proud of this part.  I'm a nerd like that.)

Tip #10: Enjoy Dropping it Off!

One bag was for the pantry, and the rest was for the freezer.  Hope they enjoy them!

Blogtemtober: If I Could Take 3 Months Off

I'm assuming, if I could take 3 months off, it means I've won the lottery, which also means I can afford to do the things I'd want to do if I had 3 months off.

What would I want to do?

TRAVEL

I would want to take a few weeks at home to be sure everything is packed, clean, and ready (though, if I've won the lottery, I might pay someone to do the cleaning part), and then we would set off - our whole family, right around when our youngest hits high school.

First, we'd hit:

EUROPE
 I have been on three different continents, but never Europe.  I want to spend at least a week in the UK and then hop over and take a Mediterranean cruise.  I really have no desire to visit France, but my husband does, so we would hit France up, too.  Then, we would head off to

AFRICA
We've been to Africa before, and it's AMAZING!  I'd like to hit up Egypt this time, see the pyramids, the Nile, the Cairo museum, etc.  I'd also love to go on a safari in Kenya, and then round out the trip with a stay in South Africa.  I'd like to spend a little more time in Capetown.  Then we'd head West to

ASIA
This part of the trip would be brief.  To be honest, Asia is probably my least favorite place out of all the places we've been to, but I've always wanted to visit Rick's aunt and uncle in Singapore and then hop over and see my cousin and her husband in Indonesia.  It would be a very cultural trip, as we'd be staying with folks who know the land and the people.  Those are ALWAYS the best kinds.  And the we'd end our trip with

AUSTRALIA/NEW ZEALAND
I really do want to do this someday.  We'd visit the outback, the Great Barrier Reef, Mordor - it will be fabulous.

If I could take 3 months off.

Get Fit: Reflection

In my last Get Fit post, I didn't list out my goals.  I said I would be devoting an entire post to them.  But really, it's a reflection post, not a goal post.  Sorry.

In 15 weeks, I have:

• Lost 39.9 lbs, dropping from a 185.5 to my current 145.6
• Gone from double digits (size 14) to single digits (size 8)
• Developed muscle mass and tone, particularly in my quadriceps, upper arms, and obliques
• Gotten myself as "in shape" as I have ever been
• Weighed the least I have ever weighed as an adult
• Turned heads :)

Here are pictures of the process:

At my cousin's wedding on May 25th - the weekend before I started.  Approximately 185.5 lbs (though I didn't actually weigh myself until a few weeks later, so maybe even heavier!)

May 31st - started that week

June 8th

June 24th

June 29th...not a great picture...

July 4th

July 17th

July 26th

August 3rd

August 17th - Rick made me buy these pants because he loves bright colors. I bought them because they were 8s - my first official pair of 8s!

As I gathered these, I realized it would have been AWESOME to take baby bump pictures and watch the REVERSE happen!  Ah, well.  Woulda coulda shoulda.  Also realized I don't have any pictures of myself in about a month.  I actually look skinnier than this last picture!

I am beyond thrilled with the fruits of my labors.  I look better, I am healthier, I feel better.  And it's starting to rub off on my son, too. He has taken to saying, "Mommy, what are we going to have for lunch? How about I have peanut butter and jelly and you have a salad?" or "Mommy, are you going to yoga?" or "No, Mommy, not another walk!"  I love it. :)

So as I prepare to wrap up this 15 week session of my life (though technically I have .6 lbs left to lose), I am looking back, thankful for the experience.  I have learned a ton of great stuff, and I will be unpacking it in future posts, and really, probably for a long, long time.  The experience is pretty rich.  And as I move forward (to maintenance...yikes!), I want to keep my new-found knowledge of exercise, nutrition, and discipline in the forefront of my mind.  I want to tuck this experience into a safe place in my head and heart, ready to revisit it often, and reminding myself of Proverbs 15:32: "Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one who heeds correction gains understanding."

Get Fit: Week 14

So...turns out life sometimes gets in the way of progress.  Excuse?  Maybe.  But it's reality, and it's the reality I've been finding myself in pretty much since the commencement of the school year.  That said, I have made some progress this week.

Exercise: I logged 26.5 miles this week.  I took a screen shot of my Nike app to my husband as I was heading to yoga after my 6.5 on Saturday morning, and he pointed out that if I went 3 more miles this week I'd have a marathon's worth of miles.  Guess what I did bright and early Sunday morning before Rick left for church?  I also yogaed 4 times.

Diet: I'm not sure what's gotten into me, but I am really struggling to stick to my plant-based diet.  I thought things would get easier when I went back to school because I can only eat what I bring, but it turns out that when the kid whose dad works at the Mars candy factory brings in a box full of candy and your team elects you to be keeper (because of your reputation for self-control, mind you), those dark chocolate M&Ms and that dark chocolate Milky Way chilling in the closet seem much more difficult to turn down.  And there was a holiday.  And...blah blah blah.  Bottom line: I am not working very hard at the diet, despite the fact that last week, I said I would be rock-solid and the 1.8 lbs (which I realized I figured wrong - it should have been 1.3) would be gone by this week.

Breakthroughs:

• Somehow (maybe all my walking?), I still managed to lose weight, though admittedly, not a considerable amount:
• Weigh in: 145.6
• Total weight loss so far: 39.9

I'll take it!


Week 15 Goals:
It gets its own post...coming soon.

Blogtember: Describe Where You Came From

Meaghan and Chelsea are doing Blogtember. I was not in the least bit tempted to do this.  Blogging every day in July was fun but definitively a once-every-few-years thing.  However, as I am reading their posts, and as I read through the list, I decided 1) I like these posts much better on the whole and 2) I am in charge of my own blog.  I am not going to "commit" to this in the same way I committed to the other.  I may not do everyone.  I certainly won't do them every day, in fact I think mine is going to be Blogtemtober.  I'd like to be finished with it by the end of October.  And I'd like to be able to still post about other stuff without posting more than once a day.  So I will be dabbling in it.

Day 1 - Describe Where You Came From (argh - ending with a preposition!)

I come from my mother.  She comes from no-nonsense, suck it up, and do the best job you possibly can.  She comes from her mother - a outdoors woman, whose love of life, literature, and writing was part of her soul.  She comes from her father, whose level-headed approach to life gave wings to her confidence.

I come from my father.  He comes from hard-nosed, church-going, strong family folk.  He comes from his mother and the women behind her - a loving but firm woman who raised three boys on her own and made the best pot roast around.  I don't think he comes much from his father.

I come from the home of my childhood - from creaky boards, stained carpets, old bookshelves with books stacked two rows deep.  I come from the cubby hole bed in my room with the window facing west and the nice AC in the summer (because my room was the AC's first stop).  I come from public education, teachers, lunchrooms, playgrounds, art fairs, back-to-school nights, hot lunches, recess, BookIt, and libraries.

I come from the church culture of my youth - from swim parties and fake weddings, from Super Summer and InDepth, from small groups and prayer groups, from Bible studies and discipleship.  I come from watching people make mistakes, making them myself, and needing grace and mercy, and hands to pull me back up again.

I come from girl-dom - from insecurities and fear that I would never be pretty enough, or skinny enough, or funny enough, or cool enough, or fashionable enough.  I come from long talks, some in anger, some in pain, some in joy.  I come from laughter and the pleasure of shared-ness.

I come from marriage - from a man who loves me more than himself and teaches me every day what it means to be a servant.  From a relationship built on trust and God's promises.  From security and commitment.  From no-matter-what.

I come from friends.  I come from sisters and brothers.  I come from people with whom I do life.  I come from my husband, my son, my daughter.

I come from my Maker, the God of all things, and the Giver of all blessings.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

This weekend, I crossed a major threshold.  I'm 5'8" and have always been on the thick side.  I can't remember ever being in single-digit sizes in high school (but I also went through a phase where I wore clothes that were too big for me on purpose :).  I can pretty much say that I'm a size 8.

At 146.8, I weigh less than I have ever weighed as an adult, and probably before that.

Don't get me wrong - I am stoked about this - but as I've pondered my new-found "skinner"-ness, I have concluded that there are good things, bad things, and straight up ugly things about this, and some of them may be things you would never think.

GOOD:

• Meeting goals.  *Insert pat on back*
• I look better.
• I feel better.
• I'm not constantly thinking, "When I lose weight," or "When I start exercising" or "When I get healthy" - I'm already there :)
• I am in control. This is totally out of context, but 1st Corinthians 9:27a says, "No, I beat my body and make it my slave..."  In the passage, Paul is using the analogy of training for a race to speak to the Corinthians about spreading the gospel.  But I can't tell you how many times I have quoted this verse to myself making myself go farther and push harder, forcing my body to do what I know it can.
• People are noticing and complimenting me. And that's always nice. :)

BAD:

• I'm colder.  I don't know if this is because the forty pounds I used to carry around made me warmer, or because I've been doing yoga in a hot room and my body is more used to the heat, or what.  But I'm FREEZING.  Getting into my hot car at the end of the day is sheer pleasure.  I only turn the air conditioner on when my son gets in the car.
• It's less comfortable to lay on the ground, or any hard surface for that matter.  At yoga, you lay on your stomach for some posses and your back for others.  My hips have only skin between my bones and the floor.  I have never minded sitting on the floor, but I do now.
• It hurts to carry the car seat.  I hold the car seat with one of my arms and it hits me right at my hips, where I use my body to help make my arms not have to work so hard.  We just switched her to a big girl seat, so this is less of an issue now, but certainly one I noticed!
• (the big one) I CAN'T EAT WHATEVER I WANT ANYMORE.  Duh.  This is inconvenient, expensive, and often, no fun.  And when I forget to plan ahead, or when we go out, I am faced with a choice to either 1) not eat, or 2) pick the best bad option.  It's a toss-up as to what I go with, though lately, as I've gotten closer to my goal, I've granted myself grace and done more of the best bad option.

UGLY

• There is still flab.  A friend of mine has also lost a large amount of weight. She has met her goal already, but she was telling me how she thought that flab would just magically disappear.  But it hasn't - she's just a smaller person with flab now.  I have noticed this, too.  I can definitely still pinch sections of flab (though before it would have been "grab handfuls of").  It's not pretty.  Hmm.
• I still don't like to work out.  I like going to yoga, and I tolerate walking, but I don't like physical exertion.  It's hard for me to believe that anyone likes this.  I've gotten used to it because I'm in the habit of forcing myself to do things I don't want to (a GREAT habit, btw, and one I hope I never lose), but I don't like it.
• I have my food moments.  They occur most often when I am baking for someone else - breads, cakes, cookies - anything with doughs or batters.  Last night I made cookie dough and used a cookie scoop to shape the cookies for the freezer.  And then I used the cookie scoop to scoop some for myself.  Did I need this?  No, and even if I did, one little bite would have sufficed.  But no - I needed some scoops.  Several, in fact.  Ugly.

But I am SO taking it.  And aside from the health benefits, the actual act of setting a goal this mammoth and then taking it down does amazing things for your self-concept.  And it's tempting to think "Yay, me!"  I did this.  I deserve the credit and the glory.  But the truth is that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil 4:13).  It's only by HIS grace that I have come this far.

What's Next?
I am excited to end this chapter of my efforts and focus the same energy on other areas of my life.  I want to begin to prepare healthy meals for my whole family, not just me.  I want to reestablish a daily time to connect with God through study of His Word and prayer.  I want to make teaching my children a priority instead of just using "teachable moments" as they come.  I want to do SO MANY things, and now, for the first time in years, I FEEL LIKE I CAN ACTUALLY DO THEM!