Book: The Tragedy Paper

The Tragedy Paper

by Elizabeth LaBan

Length: 308 pages

Format: Paperback
Price: Checked out from the public library

How I heard about it: my awesome YAL conference

Basic Premise: Duncan's senior year at The Irving School starts off rough when he realizes he has the smallest room on the floor which just so happened to belong to Tim, a strange albino kid who was the center of last year's disaster. When he discovers the audio-diary Tim left behind, he discovers Tim's side of the story - what REALLY happened last year.

My Take: 6.5 out of 10 (scale here)

This seems to happen to me a lot - I read books back to back with massive similarities.  I read The Shack and The Lovely Bones - both about young girls who are abducted, molested, and murdered (ugh).  I read The Life of Pi and Unbroken - both with a protagonist who gets lost at sea.  And now, I have read Looking for Alaska and The Tragedy Paper - both books about high school boys who attend boarding school and find their first love and go through a horrible "accident."

 

The Tragedy Paper is actually a dual narrative.  The here and now is Duncan and the flashback follows Tim through many of the same experiences as Duncan, but both constantly allude to the disaster that happened last year.  The structure sounds weird, but it worked.  I liked the ebb and flow of the story, though I must say, after the tragedy of Looking for Alaska, the "tragedy" that occurred at the end of this book seemed far less tragic.

 

This is Elizabeth LaBan's first novel, which I believe.  It was well-written but lacked the grit that most novels of this genre and topic possess.  It was interesting to read about albinism, which I have only done one other time, and that was years ago with The DaVinci Code.  I did a little research on the affliction, of which I have no knowledge and to which I have no exposure.  It was interesting.  And, unlike my last one, it's one I can give to kids.

Book: Looking for Alaska

Looking for Alaska

by John Green

Length: 221 pages

Format: Paperback
Price: Free - borrowed from a friend

How I heard about it: um...unless you're sleeping under a rock, you pretty much know who John Green is

Basic Premise: A young boy escapes his meaningless existence in Florida to attend boarding school in Alabama in search of "the great perhaps." While there, he encounters Alaska, a free-spirited goddess who both confuses and captures his heart.

My Take: 7 out of 10 (scale here)  

I needed a book like this at this point in the school year - it's over, I can breathe, and I can deal with something a bit more "mature"...even if it is immature high schoolers.  I really liked the book.  Alaska was a lot like whatever the girl's name is from Paper Towns, which is the first JG book I ever read.  I kind of hated the PT girl, but oddly, the Alaskan version of her in this book was likeable.  I liked Miles, too, for the most part.  I did NOT see the big event coming, which, in hindsight, was a pretty huge miss on my part.  The novel is divided into two sections: "before" and, you guessed it, "after."  Instead of chapters, it's divided into sections like "Eighty-one days before" or "the day after."  Somehow, I still missed it until the day before, and even then, I didn't quite believe it was real.  And then I, just like them, wanted to know who. what. when. where. why. how. Maybe one of the best accomplishments of an author is getting his reader to want something as much as the character.

As good as it was, I have two beefs with this book.  The first one is that there is no way on God's green earth I could ever give it to a student.  I REALLY hate that.  The second, related to the first, is that I hate the seemingly incessant conviction among the young in books like this that life is about sex and drinking.  I am always surprised at the depth of this belief and the lengths young people will go to get it.  Perhaps it is because the boys I surrounded myself with when I was this age were Ricks and Jeffs and Sams and Jacobs and Tylers - they were just so good.  They loved me and cared about me, not what I could do for them or get for them.  I avoided the boys like the ones in this book like the plague and pray to GOD that my daughter does the same.  Perhaps my boys were naive, or perhaps I am naive.  Whatever the reason, it always leaves a very sour taste in my mouth.

The Chiropractor

In this post, I discussed how my back has gotten worse instead of better since my run.  After this weekend, it was clear that I needed some help.  So this morning I called a chiropractor recommended by a friend and MERCIFULLY, they had an opening at 2:00.  By that point I had taken over the couch and was moving as little as possible. Sign. Me. Up.

I had to do a fair amount of running around that morning (not something my back was particularly excited about), including a trip to the dentist for my son where they ended up seeing my 19-month-old as well (hope that doesn't bite me in the rear with insurance later).  While we were there, I saw a girl I knew from high school. She was in choir and was several years older than me.  We did the awkward I-recognize-you-but-don't-really-know-you-but-we-made-eye-contact smile and went about our business.

Side note: Among our errands for the day were picking up new glasses for Charlie. (He broke them at church on Sunday, no one quite knows how.)  New glasses always take some getting used to, but I like them!

Anyway, I stashed the kids at mom and dad's while I went to the chiropractor.  I gimped in and began filling out the necessary paperwork.  And, strangely, the girl I knew from high school that I saw at the dentist office just that morning was behind the counter.  Weird.  We again exchanged awkward pleasantries, this time about how odd it was that we would run into each other twice in the same day.  They called me back and did my blood pressure, which they said was low - 101/60.  I have always had EXCELLENT blood pressure - the nurses always comment on it - but I don't think they've ever said "low."  Not sure exactly what that means.

They put me in a waiting room and about two minutes later, in walks the girl. From high school. She was my chiropractor.  I didn't realize it because her last name was different.  So we laughed again, chatted briefly about one another's families, and then got to work.

Let me preface - I had never been to a chiropractor before, so I really had no idea what to expect. I know that medical people I know are leery of them, but then I also know homeopathic people who swear by them and are leery of medical doctors, so who knows?  At this point, I really didn't care - I just wanted to feel better.  So I got on the table face-down.

Pretty much immediately, doc said "Wow...your pelvis is WAY out of whack."  I wasn't sure what that meant, so as she's pushing and prodding, I finally asked.  The conversation went something like this:

Her: It has to do with the positioning of your pelvis.  Did you suffer any kind of sports-related injury as a youngster?
Me: Uh, no. Definitely not.
Her: Did you fall, maybe off a horse or something?
Me: Not off a horse, but I am rather clumsy. Falling is definitely within the realm of possibility.
Her: And why did you have C-sections?
Me: My babies were upside down.
Her: Ah. Well, whatever you did to knock your pelvis, your body has been trying to compensate for it.  It's likely that both your babies were breech because of the positioning of your pelvis.  The spinals performed helped aggravate it and running made it worse.  Let's see what we can do.

And then she proceeded to "adjust" me, which, if you've never been like me, is a bit of a shock.  She shoved, yanked, pressed, and popped ALL OVER.  When she grabbed my neck and yanked, a chorus of "pops" erupted up and down it.  And then SHE DID IT AGAIN ON THE OTHER SIDE.

Holy cow.

When she was done, she said I adjusted "reasonably well" considering my circumstance, and then had me stand up, which I did with very little pain.  Then she had me walk, which I ALSO did with very little pain. Then she told me she wanted to see me Friday.  It was possible that I had a bulged disc, but they would know more on Friday.  Then she took me to the back where they hooked me up to a MASSAGE MACHINE for like, 15 minutes.  It. Was. Awesome.

When I left, I felt 75% better.  I went to 7 PM yoga and was VERY careful.  Doc said to do a lot of stretching and to stretch "to the pain, but not through the pain."  That was hard because I just flat couldn't do about 40% of the class.  But, I got through it.

Here's hoping for some lasting relief!

Freaked...

I mentioned that my back has been hurting ever since my run more than a week ago.  It's been relatively manageable - through heat pads every night and Alieve, I've been able to do most things, though people have said they can tell something is wrong by my walk.  But...it's not getting better, and now the pain is in my neck and my legs.  This is NOT cool.

I hate going to the doctor for things like this because, in my experience, it does no good and costs a lot of money.  But the truth is that I CAN'T go on like this.  I was signed up to do yoga this morning but there is truly no way I can do ANY of the poses without pain.  Even corpse pose (lying down on your back...not moving...like a corpse) is painful.  But this is getting ridiculous.  Summer is here and I'm going to be active, dang it!

These are my summer goals:

1) Get down to 140

2) Keep up activity with yoga and walking (and possibly learning to run...ugh)

3) Return to a plant-based diet

4) Complete 30 days of yoga in July

 

Having a back injury with this degree of severity makes 2 and 4 impossible, which has me completely discouraged.  SO, for the first time EVER, I am going to see a chiropractor.  I am calling Tuesday morning at 8 AM and asking for the first available appointment.

We shall see.

Moving On

Last year was officially the most difficult school year of my career.  I was gone for 3 and a half months with baby issues and we had the most challenging group of kids yet.  I also lost Lindsey.  It was a really, really rough year.

This year was rough, but for non-kid related reasons.  We ended up with quite a bit of personnel change on our team and it definitely took it's toll on me.  Yesterday I was trying to decide why I had no stress about the end of the school year this year.  And then I remembered that the ends of the last two years had been punctuated by terrible departures.  Two years ago, we lost Luke, our Language Arts teacher.  I was devastated.  I was pregnant, so that didn't help matters, but I bawled like a little baby when he left.

Thank the Good Lord Cindy is still here!

And then last year it was Lindsey.  If I thought losing Luke was bad, this was heart-breaking.  I cried for days up until it happened, and then I cried all afternoon and the whole way home.  It was awful.  So awful I'm going to just move on right now.

BUT!  I survived!  There were definitely moments when I didn't think I was going to.  There were definitely moments when I missed these two people more than I could ever imagine.  We have had struggles with our team this year that I could have never anticipated.  BUT! We made it.  I made it.  It is a small kind of personal accomplishment to slam the book shut on this school year and move on!

Get Fit: Winter

Last weekend, Jo Marie shared about her commitment to getting fit and losing weight. (Thanks Jo! If you missed it, click here.)  This week, I am happy to introduce Winter.  She blogs over at Daily Balanced Living, and I've known her since I was a kid.  We went to church together, and even though I spent more time with her sisters than her growing up, I have always admired her for many different reasons.  This post is yet another to add to the list.  Thanks for sharing, Winter!

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Thank you so much for inviting me to be a guest on your blog Randi!

Almost exactly two years ago now is when this journey of mine began. I was a stay at home mom with four kids at home. With each of my babies I had suffered severe post partum depression. This last one was no different, my doctors gave me medication for it, but I also self-medicated myself when I felt my meds weren’t doing their job. I used food, alcohol, just whatever I could to numb my pain.

                                                                                               

When my daughter turned three I actually weighed more than when I delivered her. I am 5’6” and I weighed about 226 pounds. I was miserable. I was watching my life from the couch. I hated to be in family pictures, or any pictures at all. When I went searching for a before picture I found it really hard to find one. I was always hiding behind someone in all the pictures I was in.

When I looked in the mirror I thought the most horrible things about myself. Shopping for clothes for my increasing body was so depressing, I was wearing a size 18 at the time. I hated the way that I looked.

On top of all of this, my last pregnancy had wrecked the inside of my body. I was having periods that lasted 2-3 weeks and was in pain a lot. My doctor recommended a partial hysterectomy. After surgery, having six weeks of recovery and time to think about and evaluate my life, I made a decision to change my life.

No more watching life from a distance, I wanted to participate!

I began exercising with a friend at some free classes that were being offered near my house. There are two groups in Topeka that offer these free classes now, MAKIN Moves and Heat Up Topeka. This was a great starting point for me. I had always hated to exercise, but doing it with a group like that made it fun, I looked forward to it.

I started this radical diet called, “Girl, quit eating so much!” You won’t find a book on it; I literally just quit eating so much. What a concept! To eat healthy serving sizes of food, I also started eating more fruits and vegetables and whole foods. I quit acting like a garbage disposal for my kid’s leftovers. I really had been treating my body like a trashcan for all sorts of garbage. To help me track what I was eating and to be more aware I started using My Fitness Pal. It’s a great app that allows me to see my progress and be aware of the nutritional values of the foods I eat.

Something else that I did during this process was I asked God for help. Even though I was getting in better shape I still found that I had these cravings that just didn’t seem to go away. I read the book, “Made to Crave” by Lysa TerKuerst and learned so much about the why behind my cravings. We are created to crave God, not food, learning this changed the way I saw food. Starting June 16^th I will be leading the Bible study based on the book “Made to Crave,” feel free to contact me for more information about this summer study at dailybalancedliving@gmail.com.

Over the course of a year I lost 66 pounds. Now, two years later I am down 76 pounds and I wear a size 6. I’m not sure that I will lose much more weight; lately I have been more focused on toning and getting stronger. Some weeks I lose inches and gain a pound, some weeks I lose another pound, most weeks I maintain. I’m more concerned with how I feel instead of what the scale says.

I continue to participate in the group exercise classes, I really enjoy the kickboxing and I have taken up running. You could probably say I am even a little addicted to it. Two years ago I couldn’t run the length of my driveway without feeling like I was going to die, now I can run more than six miles. I’m not fast, but I’m consistent.

My life is completely different now; I love to be outside, working in the yard, playing with the kids. I have found that I enjoy hiking, climbing, camping, bike riding; you could say pretty much anything active.  There is this long list of things that I want to try now too, things that for years I couldn’t imagine trying.

Now when I look in the mirror I see a strong, fit woman. I have come so far; I love this version of me that I see.

Come and visit me sometime over at my blog www.dailybalancedliving.com

New Thing: IN CHARGE at the Talent Show

For the last few years, I've helped with our middle school talent show.  I agreed to do so again this year.  And then the lady who does everything got sick and was out for the rest of the week.  Guess who was promoted to captain of the ship?

That's right.  This girl.

I had a few things working in my favor.  The first was that I had helped for several years and I had a good idea of what needed to be done.  The second one was that I had GREAT people to work with, and they all knew what they were doing.  And lastly, when all this went down and I realized I was the one in charge, it happened to be the two days my students were in the computer lab typing their final assessments, so I had time to make lists, send emails, and print stuff, and then stay after school until 6 PM.  That was a God thing.

I feel like there are lots of things I could talk about.  I could talk about the kid who wasn't prepared for his audition, first rehearsal, or dress rehearsal, and then didn't actually perform the act as it appeared in the show until the show (I would like to note that I cut this kid 3 times and it was NOT my idea to let him stay in.)  I could talk about the poor girl who got up on stage, looked out at the audience, and froze like a popsicle, unable to summon the courage she needed until one of her teachers (not Lara and me, who were frozen on the front row, paralyzed with "what-the-heck-do-we-do-now?" fear) gently approached her with words of encouragement.  I could talk about the other poor girl, who started out the show to a song she wasn't prepared to sing (we got it figured out - the sound guy put in the wrong CD, but the poor thing! She was mortified).  Those would be the glitches.

But instead, I'm just going to try to learn what I can from the experience.  In the past, I feel like I have been a good encourager at the show - a person who builds kids up, gives them helpful pointers, and smiles my face off on the front row while they are performing.  This year, I feel like maybe I was a bad one.  I was completely stressed about all the things I was (newly) in charge of, and I think I forgot to try to make it fun for kids.  Instead, I was trying to keep things organized and moving quickly.  If I am ever in charge again, I feel like I need to find a better balance.  Because ultimately, when the lights go up (and the light guy did eventually master that...eventually), it's okay if they entered from the right instead of the left, or if they tripped over a mic cord (those stupid things), or if they forgot to move the mic stand.  It's really just about kids showing another side of themselves, be it the dancing side, the singing side, the piano/violin/viola-playing side, the juggling side, or the Gollum/Smeagol impersonation side - the side that we normally don't showcase at school.

Props to those kids.

Post-Run Stress Disorder :/

I ran on Tuesday night (details here).  Wednesday, during my plan, I ran down to the fitness room because with the talent show rehearsal that night, I knew there was NO way I was going to get exercise in that evening.  I did just short of two miles at a pace of about 15:40.  That was at 2:00.

At 5:00, while I'm sitting on the floor in the gym running kids through our talent show rehearsals, a began, quite suddenly, to experience a shooting pain through my lower back and into my upper thigh on my right side.  It was so bad that I could no longer sit on the floor.  I hoped it would be better after I walked around a little, but by the time I got home I was down flat with a heating pad.  I have had back pain since my daughter's birth and have seen doctors multiple times, but this was worse than ANYTHING I had yet experienced.  I was able to sleep, but I woke every time I shifted positions and prayed it would be better in the morning.  It wasn't.  I gimped around like an old lady with my upper body tilting forward and a grimace on my face.

So what does that mean for running?  I don't know.  It's possible that this is a fluke and that the incident was not caused by the running.  I don't think this is likely because, when I was trying to get my constant back pain to go away, I was seeing doctors and getting treatments (which were of no help, mind you), the doctor told me specifically that running was one of the worst things I could do for my back.  It is also possible that I ran wrong.  Perhaps my form was bad, or my shoes (a used pair I picked up for cheap) are all wrong, or it's really not a good idea to run one minute on and one minute off like the Nike app said.

Bottom line: I am totally stressed about it.  I really want to learn to run because:

• it takes less time than walking
• runners are the coolest people on the face of the earth (I have always believed this)
• it's a great way to keep in shape
• it takes less time than walking
• it's a hatred/fear I have carried with me my whole life and I REALLY want to conquer it
• Lindsey is gung-ho about helping me, and I really appreciate that and don't want to let her down, even though I know she would understand
• it takes less time than walking

Sigh.  I don't know what to do. I am not calling it quits, just trying to figure out ways I might continue.  I'm hoping to squeeze a yoga class in this weekend to see if it relieves the back pain. :/

Get Fit: My First Run

One of my fitness goals for this summer is to learn to run.  I have always thought runners were cool and secretly wanted to be one, but my body hates running. HATES it.  But since this is my second fitness summer, I decided to try to tackle this.  Well, actually, Lindsey decided this for me.

I've logged three miles every night since Sunday, so I was planning to head out around 7 PM when Lindsey text me telling me to update my Nike app and use its program called "5K" and to check "beginner."  Um...duh.  I did.  It asked me for a name.

I read through the plan, which said I would run 1.5 miles tonight.  It also said that if I was a "beginner," it might be best for me to walk/run every other mile.  It took me 22 minutes to do 1.75 miles (not sure why it said 1.5 but then didn't give me the green check mark until 1.75).  Of those 22 minutes, I ran for 13.  And, even though I was pretty sure I was going to, I didn't die.  I could breathe and even though my back hurt, I could power through.  When I hit the green check mark, I took a two minute break on the side of the road while I reset my app.  I still wanted 3 miles, so I set out to walk my remaining 1.25 miles.

I didn't feel like my run was much "faster" than my walk, and really, when you look at the numbers here, they are pretty close.  But Lindsey's advice was to run slow, even if you feel like you're running too slow.  I definitely had those moments.

BUT - I did it!

Get Fit: Jo Marie

I am so excited to introduce Jo Marie.  She consented to be the first of my guest posters about getting fit and staying that way.  She doesn't have a blog, but be sure to leave a comment about how she needs to start one! :) I count her among my greatest friends.  Thanks for sharing with us, Jo!

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How did I lose a bunch of weight?

First, I’m only writing this post because I love Randi. Randi and I got to know each other as young college grads carpooling together. We were young, new teachers and we were able to share many fun adventures as members of a great carpool. We shared laughs, tears, and stories and grew together as teachers, wives, and friends.

So, in true carpool fashion, I will share with you my story of weight loss.

In January 2013 I turned 30 years old. I weighed over 150 pounds (I’m 5’4”)

So, that’s me at over 150 pounds. And, I’d be totally cool with that if I was happy. But, I wasn’t happy. I was lethargic and using food a stress reliever in a serious way!

I realized I needed to gain control on my eating when, for the millionth time, I opened my kitchen pantry after a particularly stressful day at work. I was giving in to food. In a bad mood? I need a snack. Celebrating an accomplishment? I need a snack. You get the idea.

My plan: I decided I was going to walk while pushing my boys in the stroller 5 days a week and I was going to try to get rid of the processed food (junk) that I was addicted to. Most importantly, I made a commitment to making sure I got my daily servings of fruits and vegetables.

To be honest with you, this lifestyle change was actually welcomed. It felt so good to eat fresh fruits and vegetables. Since I was trying to get rid of a lot of processed foods I started making a lot of my own snacks. I made all kinds of yummy things using REAL, CLEAN foods. Don’t mistake this as saying it was easy. But, when I’d spent the last couple years indulging in comfort foods, it was fun to eat to live and not eat emotionally.  Below is a picture of me about 8 weeks into my journey. It was my son’s first birthday.

As for my exercise, I started off walking 1.5 miles 5 days a week. I did that exclusively for the first 6 weeks, and it was HARD. I’ve gradually built up endurance from there, and now regularly run 2-4 miles (but mostly 2 :) 6 days a week. If you had asked me when I started if I thought I’d be running, I would have laughed in your face!

Here were a few things that really motivated ME as I began the process. I know each person will have a different list of what keeps them going

1. MY BOYS! When I was 150 pounds I was out of breath walking up the stairs I found that my husband was the one that was engaging with them because I was sitting on the couch watching
2. I started reading a blog of a former coworker who was documenting her daily meals. She was eating only CLEAN foods. Through reading her posts I saw that eating clean was possible and, dare I say it, enjoyable. Also, another coworker regularly shared with me disgusting stories about GMOs, non-organic food, and the thought of continuing the cycle of processed foods became less appealing.
3. Zak and I signed up for a 5K in August of 2013. I didn’t want to embarrass myself with my time, so that helped me with my daily exercise.

The biggest key to my success was my prioritizing my health. I remember telling a dear friend that there weren’t enough hours in the day for me to exercise. I had a family, a full time job and I was running a business on the side. So, I had to let something go. In order to prioritize my health, I had to put my side business in the background. Best decision I’ve ever made!

So that’s my story. I’ve kept my weight off for 5 months now and I’m just thrilled with my energy level, and, let’s be frank, my appearance!

Me in October, when I’d lost most of the weight I wanted to:

And, finally, a redo of a picture of me on my 31st birthday. 

Get Fit: SUMMER IS ALMOST HERE!

I'm not going to waste time talking about how excited I am for summer, because everyone is.  I mean, who ISN'T excited for days off, warm weather, the POOL?  I outlined my fitness goals for this summer in this post and have done a little tweaking.  Here is the updated version:

1) Get down to 140, or maybe a better way to say it would be a size 6 in everything, not just shirts, dresses or pants from LOFT or GAP, which run big (I've got a little junk in my trunk, hips, and thighs) 

2) Learn how to lift/tone

3) Keep up activity with yoga and walking (and possibly learning to run...ugh)

4) Return to a plant-based diet

5) Complete 30 days of yoga in July

I have decided I really do want to be 140.  I have put on a few pounds since March because I've kind of quit worrying so much about eating the right stuff, and when you quit focusing on eating the right stuff, it becomes quite easy to eat the wrong stuff.  I am axing #2 because I have decided I don't want to join a gym and I feel like I can add this one in later.

But #5 is REALLY the one I'm excited about.  I visited a studio in Tulsa called Salt.  Since then I have been on their email list and they are running a special in the summer where they challenge their yogis to do 30 sessions in 30 days.  I thought it was a great idea so I sent it to Lindsey and said "I wish our studio did stuff like this," to which she responded, "Send it to them!"  Turns out, they really liked the idea and are going to run it next month!  I am planning to pick my membership back up here in a few weeks and I am really looking forward to this challenge!

And LAST (and most exciting) - to help get myself motivated for Phase 2 of Get Fit, I will be featuring GUEST BLOGGERS for the next four weeks.  These are women who have had enough and decided they wanted to take eating and exercising into their own hands.  I am so excited that these women are willing to share their stories with me!  So be watching for the first post from Jo Marie (whom I would tag if she HAD A BLOG...you really need a blog, Jo) which will be up by the weekend!

Garden Planting

One of my 30 Before 30 goals was to plant a garden. Unfortunately, we do not have enough sun in either of our yards to properly nourish tomatoes and cucumbers, which is what I wanted to grow.  So my mother-in-law graciously donated a portion of the raised garden my brother-in-law built for her for our use!

Now, to be clear, I know nothing, NOTHING, about plants.  All I know is that we eat a TON of Greek salad (nothing but tomatoes, cucumbers, and feta!) and it sure would be nice (and cheap!) to eat it fresh!

My mother-in-law bought the plants from a greenhouse.  We have five tomato plants, each of which need to be planted 26 inches apart.

Then you just dig a little hole with the mini-shovel.

Pull the plant out of the pot and break up the roots a little bit:

Then put it in the ground, fill the dirt in around it, and you have a planted tomato plant.

The cucumbers were a little trickier because they came from seeds.  The instructions said to create a mound and then place 4-8 seeds in about an inch deep and a few inches apart.

And then cover with dirt and water.  There wasn't anything in the instructions about sending your four-year-old over to dig it all up, but we had that added advantage.  I think I got everything back in the ground.  I guess we will see in 60 or so days!

I will keep you posted ;)