Review: Think Dirty

One day, I was out to lunch with a friend and she introduced me to this app. I am not a huge app user - I usually download them, never open them, and then delete them when I get that screen of death that says I'm almost out of storage.

We were talking about eating clean and such, and she whips out her phone. Our convo went something like this:

Her: Wanna see something gross?
Me: Hi, I'm Randi. Have we met?
Her: It's this app that tells you how dirty all your stuff is.
Me: Huh?
Her: You type in the product you want to check and it gives you a rating on how "dirty" it is.
Me: That sounds awful.
Her: It's GREAT. (Pulls out her phone, displays app.)

Her: See? Now, what do you use to clean your face?
Me: (proudly, because I have recently graduated from the drug store stuff to the DEPARTMENT STORE STUFF) Clinique.
Her: (typing it in) So, here you go:

Her: The five its its rating out of then. The higher you get to ten, the dirtier it is. So yours is about half dirty. So, not terrible. What about your laundry detergent?
Me: (snapping my fingers) I know this one is clean. I use Meyer's. (Remember this post all about Meyer's?)
Her: (sad face) Oh, friend. I'm sorry. I'm about to burst your bubble about Meyer's.
Me: What do you mean? It can't be dirty - the whole point of it is that it's kinder to the environment and made with clean chemicals. That's their whole advertising campaign!
Her: That's what I thought too, so I bought a bunch of it. Are you ready for this?

Her: NINE?
Me: NINE? You have to be kidding me!

The rest of lunch was spent in a similar vein (we were at PSub so the kids were happy coloring and watching TV): me thinking of products and her scanning them and me getting all depressed. One ironic thing we found was that the laundry detergent I had given up to use Meyer's, All Free & Clear, was actually very clean:

Go figure.

Another cool thing about this app is that, if it doesn't have a product you are looking for, you can add it. They didn't have my shampoo, so I scanned the barcode and submitted it. Surely this is fine, right? I mean, it smells so good and it's so pretty!

Anyway, I really kind of feel like this app ruined my life. I also feel like it's okay if all my stuff isn't ones and twos. I think it's okay if I work up to that gradually. Most of my cleaning stuff is Norwex anyway, which doesn't even use chemicals, so I'm at least doing that part right, right?

Fourth Birthday

My Dearest Lucy Jean,

I can't tell you how crazy it is to think about how you are FOUR YEARS OLD! How did that fly by so quickly? When I look at your little NICU picture, I can't help but be amazed at the miracle of you.

You are such a joyful little girl. You pop out of bed every morning (and I do mean EVERY MORNING) with a smile on your face and ready for the day. You want to dance, or play, or read books, or come snuggle with your dad and me, which invariably leads to your dad tackling you because, even though you promised to be quiet, somehow you just couldn't swing it. This year you learned to POTTY IN THE POTTY, which I thought might never happen. I bribed you with every means I could think of (including taking you to get your nails done), and yet somehow you just learned it in your own way and in your own time. I think that's going to be the way you roll, my dear: you aren't going to let anyone rush you or slow you down - you are just going to be YOU. And although that can be frustrating in small ways, it is best for sure in the big ways. You have developed a love for girly things - you love nail polish, pink, scarves, purses, clothes, boots, and shopping. This year you have loved Star Wars and Shopkins. You also love to read books and, at bedtime especially, you love to listen to stories about Juicy Lean. Juicy Lean is a lot like Lucy Jean, except that she often makes bad decisions and needs Lucy Jean's help to make them right. And sometimes her brother Barley is in the stories, too. You also love the game where you list three things and I have to weave them into a story. You are pretty good at that too when it's Mommy's turn!

This year has been challenging for your Mommy and Daddy. We have affectionately (or in frustration) dubbed you a "threenager" - you definitely know your own mind and are fiercely committed to fulfilling whatever it is that's in there. Another trait that will serve you very well in the future.

My dear, God has used you to teach me so many lessons about Him this year. Parenting puts the Gospel in perspective like few other human experiences. But the biggest one is and will continue to be that as much as I love you, God loves you more. He loved you enough to give up His own Son. We talk about this often, and though you don't quite understand just yet, I pray that God continues to draw you close, and when the time comes, you will lean in and begin to fulfill all He has planned for you.

Because girl, it is BEAUTIFUL.

Love,

Mommy