Farewell, Summer

My favorite Jerry Spinelli book of all time begins like this:

The saddest shower of all is the one you take the night before school starts in September. It's like you're not just washing the day's dirt way, you're washing the whole summer down the drain – all the fun, all the long, free days. So it's sad. --Who Put That Hair in My Toothbrush?

This is exactly how I feel today - the day before I go back to school. Before I had my son, I was 100% eager to get back into the classroom and get started on another year.  While I truly enjoy my job, it is so hard to see past the dark cloud that hangs over the school year - less time with my family.

This is how I spent my entire school year last year - living for 3:20 and the weekends.  And to be honest, it was not one of my best years.  As with everything, I believe there is a direct correlation between how events play out and my attitude toward them.  If I spend the weekend dreading Monday, I should expect Monday (and the weekend, really) to suck.  If simply accept that this is my plight in life right now - a breadwinner whose family's livelihood depends mostly on my job - things become a bit easier to swallow.

Another plus? I really do love my job.  I have a great team of teachers to work with every day, I have a subject area that I love, and I have great kids.  It happens every year - we get a great batch of kids.  So all things considered, I really have it pretty good.

I told my husband a few weeks ago, after we went over our new budget (which has increased, by the way, thanks to his GTA position and scholarships at KU!) and his new schedule, that I was going to be making a supreme effort to make things as easy as possible on him.  I am not a fast learner, and last year, single-parenting a two-year-old was nearly the death of me.  (Okay, that might be an exaggeration, but only slight!)  But it's not happening this year. This year, I am arming myself with confidence in my role as a mom and claiming God's promise to never leave or forsake me as I nose-dive into my seventh year of teaching, my son's third year of life, the beginning of my daughter's, and the last year (PLEASE let it be the last year!) of my husband's schooling.

Bring it.