Getting Married Young

I probably have at least a dozen half-written blog posts in my Blogger.  I start off great and then, I don't know, get busy or bored with the topic.  This is one of the ones I started long ago and decided to finish up this morning.

Junior Year? Ish?

Lindsey sent me a link to this post about the benefits of getting married young, wanting my thoughts.  Since my husband and I were both 20 when we married, I qualify as someone who got married young. And I love that fact. I love that we grew up together. I love that he was my first date, my first kiss, my first and only boyfriend.  I love that we went through high school and college together.  I love that he proposed to me when we were 19, and we married the next summer.  I love that I have watched him go from a tall, shy, and sometimes awkward teenager to a confident, intelligent, caring man, husband, and father.  There is something magical about that transformation, and I am glad to have been a part of it. 

Prom

However, I take a bit of issue with this article.  I don't think it's particularly well-written (SNOB ALERT), and, on behalf of all people who have a wonderful romantic love story, I kind of resent the fact that she implied with the last "perk" that those who don't get married young do not have a great love story.  I know lots of great ones that happened later in life.  One of them was my choir teacher in high school, who went to a costume party dressed as Sylvester and met his future wife, a woman in her 30s, who was dressed as Tweety Bird.  Romance has nothing to do with your age.  I also think it would behoove this author to take a look at the other side - all the things that suck about getting married early:

Wedding - June 19, 2004

1. Money. Um...you have none.  And (generally speaking) you have less working knowledge of money.  You have not had enough time to manage money-making on your own, and when you combine forces with someone who has the same problem, it just makes things that more difficult.  Oh, if I could only have another shot at this one...
2. School. You aren't done with it.  And you have to work (in my case, three jobs) to support yourselves.  Enough said.
3. Stuff. You have no stuff, so you register, and because you have no experience because you've always lived with your parents or in the dorms, you have no stinking clue what to register for.  I registered for cheap crap because I didn't want to offend anyone.  I walked around the store like, "Oh, that's cool," and used the gun with nearly no discrimination.  If I had been older and wiser, I would have gone for less quantity and more quality.
4. People. People think and say you are too young to be married (though I must say, in true teenager fashion, that only made me want to do it more).
5. Identity. You need to learn how to be you on your own before you can be you with someone else.

I love my story and wouldn't change it even given the opportunity, but my goodness, it was hard.  That said,

*Soap Box*
I certainly do not advocate this approach with others, and definitely won't with my own children.  I truly believe we are the exception to the rule, and we have been so so blessed.  We have been able to work through these issues and more by the grace of God only.  But really, the bottom line is that, no matter when you got married, no matter how much you love each other, no matter how "right" for each other you are, marriage is work.

I remember hearing this when I was young and thinking, "How unromantic.  I hope that's never us."  Oh, the naivete.  I simply couldn't imagine a time when I wasn't utterly head-over-heels, roses and rainbows, the-sun-shines-out-of-his-every-orifice in-love with the boy.  But I learned pretty quickly that those moments are not only possible, they are guaranteed.

But you know what the secret to a happy marriage is?  Loving the other person more than you love yourself.  In short, loving like Jesus, which is really the secret to a happy life, too, right?

*End Soap Box*